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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to PUSHIT by Tool
My ex-wife used to push me really hard to hit her… i had no idea what was going on and what to do . 5 years since she left me and still can’t understand how she used me to justify her cheating and blame it on me …
Thank you for sharing your story- I commend you for opening up about the abuse you suffered as I know that can be terribly difficult. Emotional manipulation is a form of abuse that often leaves us feeling so confused. Afterwards, when we’re left to pick up the pieces, we don’t know what was true, what we were led to believe, who was right, who was wrong, or why it all went south to begin with. We feel used, in a way that leaves our emotions still reeling, even 5 years later. I’m really sorry that you faced that manipulation and my heart goes out to you.
I want you to know that even though you faced lots of hardship and pain while in that relationship, you are not any less of a human being or any weaker for having been in a manipulative relationship. The manipulation starts as small seeds, and before you know it, the lies and deceit have grown into an enveloping jungle of vines, leaving you wondering which was is up and what the truth is at the center of it all. I’m just glad to hear that you found your way out of that jungle. You deserve better in a relationship than someone who cheats on you and then blames you for it. Her actions were not your fault. She was unfaithful, and she was the one who made that choice. You can’t understand it because it isn’t understandable. It’s manipulation and it’s cruel.
The bright side of all of this is that you are not in the relationship anymore. You’ve trudged your way through the thick jungle of lies and manipulation, and even though you may still be reeling over some aspects of your time in the relationship, you are no longer in its grasp. Take a deep breath and acknowledge that fact. Take time to enjoy that you are not still stuck in the throes of being blamed for things you are not guilty for. Relish in the fact that you are free from your abuser, and even though it exists in your past, that is where it’s staying. You’re on the road to recovery and it’s only looking brighter and brighter from here. I’m proud of you for getting out of that situation and I pray that you continue healing from the brokenness brought on by that manipulation. There are so ma y brighter days ahead of you, and I’m so excited for you to experience them.