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My father was just diagnosed with bone cancer. I’m fucking drowning. Please help.
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Hey Friend,
I’m so sorry to hear about your father’s diagnosis of Bone Cancer. I understand that the current situation feels overwhelming and that you are drowning in your own emotions. Discovering that a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, can feel like you’ve been hit by a massive wave of fear, sadness and uncertainty of what the future may hold. It’s understandable if you are unsure of how to cope.
Whilst it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, know that you are not alone. What you need right now is a support network, and it’s important to reach out to those around you. There is lots of counselling support available, not just for you but the entire family. That will unleash some of the heavy burden you are carrying at the moment.
It’s also important to prioritize self-care during this time. As much as you want to be there for your father and support him, you also need to take care of yourself in order to be able to do so effectively. Make sure to carve out time for activities that bring you comfort and peace, whether it’s going for a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in a hobby that brings you joy. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being will help you better navigate the challenges ahead.
In supporting your Father, love him, care for him and encourage him to keep fighting. He needs you in his corrner, but only if you are able to look out for yourself first. It’s also important to respect his autonomy and allow him to express his feelings and make decisions about his care. It might also be worth educating yourself about his condition, so that you can be better involved in his care.
Please remember to be kind and patient with yourself. The next few months/years will have good days, bad days, moments of joy and moments of despair. Your emotions are 100% valid, and it’s okay not to be okay.
Sending you love, strength and healing thoughts!
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Hello Friend, I would like to start by letting you know that I am not going to tell you that I know how you feel because I do not and I am so incredibly sorry that your Dad has had this diagnosis and that now you are all having to cope with this news. It must feel like you are in some other realm of reality right now, I cannot image the fear, horror and upset that is consuming you.
Your whole family are going to have to come to terms with this and I hope that you are all able to do this together? I would suggest that you try (and I know this is so hard) to not look up things on the internet (other peoples stories etc) I would suggest waiting for all the relevant information about your dad so that you know exactly what is going on and what exactly you need to concern yourself with and of course how you can support your dad. There is an amazing group here in the UK called Macmillan that help people with cancer and thier families. I do not know where you are from but even if you do not know them I am giving you a link to the site so you can read up on some information. I would also imagine you have a group that do the same thing where you are but called something else. These people are experts in helping both the patient and their loved ones.
I would like you to know mostly that however you feel, however odd or crazy you think you might feel, every feeling is normal and valid, this is a time when you are going to feel every single emotion going and that is ok, allow yourself that and be kind to yourself. Please stay intouch with us at Heartsupport if you like, we are always available to talk to. The forum is open to you always. I truly wish you all the very best. Lisa. x
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I am so sorry to hear your father has bone cancer. I know that just after diagnosis there usually is a lot of uncertainty about things like what stage of cancer is it and what treatments are possible. That can cause a lot of fear and make you feel like you are drowning. As @EvilGenius @Lisalovesfeathers already pointed out a support system, whether it be in your own environment or from organisations that specialize in supporting people with cancer and their relatives. Also like evilgenius said it is important not to forget yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself it will be very hard to be there for your father.
One thing-that probably does not feel fitting right now- is something I have experienced both as a volunteer and with people in my personal life is that people with cancer really appreciate humour. Sometimes it is very dark but I have noticed it often comes out of their own initiative. At first it might feel uncomfortable but usually people adjust quickly and notice that humour can really take the sharp edges of and provide some much needed relief.
Please feel free to keep us updated if you feel like it. Thinking of you, kind regards