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My flaws and my thoughts

Hey, I dont have a mental illness or anything but… how can i be better? I cant get my grades up, my brother and sister are extrodinary, and I keep dissapointing my family. My clumsiness is also bad for my image.If I cry it means negativity for my family so I keep it for myself and i know its not healthy but its the right thing to do. Well, I atleast have a diary and that dosent really help me that much. Does anybody have some advice for me? I just want to end whats going on and I just want to be set free from myself, I am also thinking about suicide because my family does not need this type of stress in their life. Help me please…

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You have to learn to accept who you are and that being who you are is okay. It’s incredibly difficult to learn this, especially when you are living in the situation creating your misery, but you must learn to decide to be who YOU want to be rather than who THEY want you to be. Until this happens, things will likely stay as they are, but do not ever give up or give in. You must be victorious, because that’s what you are meant to be. We are alive to overcome, not succumb. It may be that this growth cannot happen until this situation is over, but just know that all things will come and pass in time. There will come a time when you are away from this present negativity and you can choose to be whoever you desire and choose to forget it all and not let it affect you.
I hope you can learn to overcome it now even, to have that happier life you’ve always desired. But no matter they say or do to you, they are all just as lost and confused and searching and imperfect as you are. Just in different ways, and also in same ways as well. We are all broken and incomplete and we have to learn to be okay with that sad truth and choose to be happy. Don’t dwell on what was or what will be, live in what is, for it is all we have. Much love

may i say something at first …
your life is your life not your family until you study so hard to get A for your family you will never get A and even if you get you won’t be happy and each person is fantastic for her/him self …
so don’t compare yourself you are good enough and the second point do you know what is the purpose of your studying ?
do you know that what kind of thing you would like for your futer hear this from me each parents responsebility toward their kid and the only thing that they should want is kids’ happiness .
ARE YOU HAPPY?
if your answer is no …
your life needs a change …

Hey @lolochristo,

You have the right not to be perfect. In fact, no one is. Learning to be at peace with that reality is a process in itself. It takes time, self-compassion, love, care. You don’t have to be like your brother or your sister. Being you is enough. More than enough. And actually all you need.

It can be very tempting to compare yourself to others when you’re struggling with self-doubts, when you have this feeling that what you do or say is never right or enough. But it can also be very destructive to fall in this trap. Your worth is not based on your capacities, your skills or even your grades.

It doesn’t mean you can’t try to progress and learn in the areas that matters in your life. We all need goals, accomplishments… just to feel like we are growing and our efforts are worth it. But if it’s turned against yourself, if it stems out of a feeling that you’re not good enough, if it makes you feel like crap, if it’s based on unreachable goals, then know that you deserve better, and there are healthier ways to keep moving on in this life.

I’m sorry crying isn’t well perceived in your family. There is nothing wrong with tears. It’s actually a healthy way to cope with deep feelings sometimes, a way to release the stress and pressure on our shoulders. Nothing to be ashamed of. Though I’m aware that being vulnerable in our world can be difficult sometimes, which is why lots of people cry in silence and hidden places. But I want you to know that it’s okay not to be okay, and it’s okay to say it. You are not at fault for feeling or for having a hard time.

Please keep reaching out if you keep struggling with those suicidal thoughts. It can be very isolating to face those things by yourself. You don’t need to be alone. You are not alone. We see you here. We love you. We care about you. We want you to be safe. You are not a burden.

:hrtlegolove:

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that was perfect bro
that was pretty logical i bought your words