The title is pretty self explanatory but to give some context here’s a little background on me… I deal with self harm and extreme suicidal thoughts on a regular basis and have attempted in the past. I’ve worked through ReWrite and just recently started in therapy… I also have some amazing support from other friends who DONT know my best friend.
So… The situation is that my best friend got discharged from hospital today after a relapse with her eating disorder… Speaking with her afterwards she told me she had planned out her suicide and that I was in that plan. She BEGGED me to do it at the same time along with her so she didn’t have to be on her own. In my mind I was so happy that I could do it and wouldn’t have to do it alone, but I’m also terrified because as much as I think about it, I don’t think I truly want to die. I don’t know how to handle all of this. Like I said - I have suicidal thoughts myself and if she asks me to do it again and I’m having those thoughts, I don’t know what I’m going to say. I don’t know how to help her and I don’t know how to cope with being begged to kill myself with her. I don’t know if I don’t know if I have the strength to keep saying no or if I have the courage to speak to my other friends about it. I’m stuck between wanting to help my best friend and not having the strength to deal with what she’s putting on me. I really don’t know what to do. Please help.
I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts. If you truly, really don’t want to die, then don’t. She is your best friend, but don’t let anyone force you do something you’re not willing to do. I think you should talk with your other friends, ask for them for advice and help too. Good, trustworthy friends can be hard to come by, believe me.
Be strong and stubborn with your best friend, don’t let her die. Please don’t. Tell her to talk on here, go to a therapist, but please don’t let her give up.
And please don’t give up yourself. Both of you are stronger than you know. It won’t always be like this. Have hope, keep your claws sharp.
I believe in you.
Stay strong, never give up
Stephanie
Hey @Yen - Thank you for reaching out. I’m proud of you for working through ReWrite and finding counseling. I’m so sorry to hear what your friend is going through, and I’m proud of you for having the strength to saying no. Not only did you keep yourself alive by saying no, but you kept your friend alive as well. You should be proud of yourself. Your friend is putting a LOT of weight on your shoulders, and instead of trying to carry her burdens, I would highly recommend for you to refer her to seek additional help. Please keep us updated.