My girlfriend was abused at some point in her childhood and blocked out the memories , I’m almost certain because she was around her brother and it happened to him and he’s lost his sanity from it.
Where do I start though. To summarize she’s 21 and I’m 28. I know it’s a big age difference but bear with me because she is one of the most mature people I’ve ever dated since I’ve explored online dating.
Okay I’m going to give another thing that sounds ridiculous but it’s been completely long distance. 4 and 1/2 months. And I think it was always going to remain that way and just be a sort of internet or e-relationship but, and but, something changed recently. And I only live a few hours away now Even have a train.
I lost a lot of weight this year from bad eating habits and then I got really sick so I’ve been trying to regain a more normal more healthy weight before I planned on visiting her end of December early January.
So she deals with a few different things One thing she deals with is what she calls tulpas, I love her with all my heart and she’s very smart the easiest way to describe it is she can process information kind of like an AI artificial intelligence through these different characters she can take on that’s almost like acting except the character never fully disappears and she can express in view things through those characters lenses. I’ve read a lot and it’s like a way of processing information and it’s sort of a trauma response to be able to process information while being emotionally stable by being someone you’re not.
Another thing she deals with is , in an intimate moment she has a hard time saying things I’ve asked her to say before but she continues to try saying them even though her anxiety overwhelms her to the point that it’s not enjoyable for me but I don’t know how to tell this to her without her crying.
One more is her brother has tried to kind of make a move on her as a very recently and the parents kind of kept trying to deny it and then flipped and chewed him out but it makes me nervous he might do something if he ever knows I exist.
But the thing I struggle the most is her desire to age regress most of the time. Her ideal relationship scenario is acting or getting to act like she’s a little kid for the rest of her life she is much happier and feel safe when she gets to act like a little kid. And she does this I think it’s a trauma response. I did help her find a therapist at one point and she went to them at least a few times.
I love this girl I’ve helped her so much with building a computer and getting a therapist and helping her with her family problems and teaching her about life. But I’m having a really hard time talking about and saying things that would be feelings or conversations between a dad and his daughter even though I want to get over it and I want it to not be a hard thing and for me at the end of the day I don’t want to assign all these feelings to words, if the words being said make her happy then that’s the person I love and I want to try doing that.
I’m going to summarize real quick:
My GF has what’s almost like multiple personalities in their head but it’s only 2 and she’s very in control of them and they all experience the same life just respond and react differently.
My GF desires to act like a little kid most of the time I want to accept it and get over it and love her but it’s making my heart feel strange acting like I’m her dad.
has a little bit of problems and some trauma , gets distracted easily and it’s hard to hold her attention if I just want to have a chill night so if I’m mentally off or drained I kind of don’t go on a date with her and I just hang out with friends instead.
I feel like a grown a lot since I met her and I have a lot of strong feelings for her and wanting to be with her and I had to move past some different things, she wanted me to walk her through meditations out loud and read books to her and I did that to help calm anxiety.