My grandfather had open heart surgery a couple days ago and he’s not doing well. His liver isnt functioning and his enzymes shot up to 1000s. I just found out yesterday that he might pass. I don’t want to lose him. He’s in Miami right now and I can’t see him. I want to go to Miami and see him so badly. Everyone tells me that everything is going to be okay but it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be okay. I can’t be over there in Miami to comfort everyone that knows. I just want to see my grandfather one last time.
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I am so sorry you are experiencing this - the thought of losing a loved one, and that anticipation, can be extremely upsetting. You are not alone in feeling helpless and far away. I hope you find strength here.
If it is truly out of the question to go see him, I think it’s important you accept that. It will help you refocus your feelings into something that can help the both of you. Perhaps someone can facilitate a phone call? Even if he is not able to talk back, it can bring great comfort to you both just to hear your voice.
Also, I know you said you would like to comfort people who know, or are there with him. You can reach out to them and just let them know you love them and understand what they are going through. Being present that way with them can still be a great comfort, even if you can’t be there in person.
I know right now you don’t know what will happen, but do your best to take care of yourself. Take time to practice self care, be sure you are resting, drinking water, and eating well. The stress of this family event can really take a toll on you.
If you cannot change your situation, just do your best to be present, be available, and take care of yourself.
You can do this, you are strong.
Be well my friend.
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Hey Vanessa,
I am so sorry. That has to be devastating. I’m also sorry that distance is keeping you from being able to see him, but know that although you cant physically be with him, it doesn’t mean you don’t love him any less or are any less involved. Although this is so incredibly hard to go through, know that we are here for you and love you. Please remember to be gentle with yourself as well through this process and take care of yourself. Hold fast, friend.
Hannah Rhodes