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Belongs to: Sometimes every day is a struggle can you relate t
my grandpa passed away this morning. my dad and I saw you guys in new orleans thursday. i didn’t know how deeply the lyrics were to fade in/fade out until I experienced them myself. my dad has had that song on repeat all day. i just want to thank you for your music, and this message. i really needed this today
Geez…brutal, friend. I’m so sorry for your loss. Crazy that you had this kind of…preparing experience at the concert, and for it to be shared between you and your dad…that’s so unique and almost kind, the timing. To be able to have something that puts words to your CURRENT PAIN, and then to have your dad be someone who gets it too, who is in the pain too, and who shares the same lifeline. That is special. Knowing you have someone to shoulder the pain with you…that can be a uniquely comforting thing.
I lost my grandfather right before covid. He was such a light in our family. The storyteller…he had a million interesting quips, quotes, vinettes, jokes…he never ceased to rally with words and entertain and inspire and delight. I loved him so much. He was such a critical part of my childhood. He loved me and made me feel like family. He felt safe. When he passed, so many mixed emotions. Obviously the bitter and the grief, but the sadness for life we didn’t get to live together. Sadness for opportunities I missed to be with him. Sadness for my kids not getting to know him. The bitterness that now touches all of the sweet memories. It’s such a soup. I struggled with guilt after he died. Feeling like I was carrying a burden of his legacy, or of his expectations, or of his honor. Loss is complex. Time, and talking, are two critical elements that helped me. There were some knots I couldn’t untangle by myself. I had to vocalize the pain to my wife, and she had to tell me that I could let that go instead of continuing to carry it around.
Anyways - I suppose I mean to say: I’m sorry, and I feel you, and I’m thankful you aren’t going through this alone. Thank you for sharing here.
I’m so sorry for your loss, friend. There is no doubt that this song must resonate in such a particular way for your dad and you, by bringing you back to these beautiful moments you’ve had with your grandpa. It’s hard though when the joy we used to share with someone we love is now intertwined with the pain of their absence. It feels like being whole yet at the same time missing parts of ourselves that were very present and very real not so long ago. There are songs that personally make me feel like reconnecting my soul to my brother when I listen to them. Before he passed away, we used to share so many songs to each other and talk about our favorite music of the moment. It was part of our love language, and it’s so special when music allows you to have this connection with someone. Even if it’s painful, it also feels comforting to get closer to them through this medium, as it brings this unique kind of presence again in our heart.
May your dad and you keep on carrying the legacy of love that your grandpa shared with you. Sending much hugs to your family and you. 