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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/36544
My grief is seeing my dad go through cancer. Knowing there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Wishing there was something else. Fear of losing one of the most consistent people in my life. Guilt for wanting more time, knowing he’s in pain and that it will only get worse toward the end. Frustration of feeling like a helpless bystander.
From: Mamadien
My heart goes out to you right now. My dad passed away from cancer many years ago and I was honored to be with him and care for him through that time. So I hear your grief, and I feel the frustration and the pain you are talking about. Don’t feel guilty for any feelings you are having right now - they are all normal and expected feelings to have as we walk this hard painful walk. Love your dad fiercely, listen to every word, every memory, every story. Ask questions as he feels like talking. Hold his hand. Find the things he wants to do and help him with those. Get the help you need through hospice, his doctors and other family. Care for yourself well through this time so that you can be there through the time ahead. Cry as much as you need to. And know that there are grief groups you can be a part of if you feel you would like that after your dad passes. Come and let us know how you are doing at the Heart Support website - we’ll walk with you my friend.
Hey Friend.
We have 86,400 seconds each day to spend. They’re not refundable and they are a finite resource. So the question is, how to spend them.
One of the biggest regrets at the end of someone’s life is that they didn’t spend enough time with the ones they love.
SO - spend as much time with your father as you can. There’s nothing selfish about that.
Be there for him and love him as he loves you, as he cared for you and so on. While you can’t do anything to physically reduce his pain, this is, in most cases, the best thing you can do to help him endure the pain he is going through.
If you can, record conversations with him. Do a “pod-cast” and ask him about his journey, the things he learned a long the way, the memories you have together.
Be the pillar in his life that he’s been in your life.
Stay strong my friend. All of us at HeartSupport are here for you and your family.
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi, friend, I’m sorry you’re dealing with your dad having cancer. I hope that you can spend as much time with him as you can and say the things you want to say, because that’s a gift you’ll have in your heart forever.
Hi my Friend,
thank you for sharing, for reaching out. cancer is one of the things that are so difficult to overcome, to witness, to
see someone dealing with it. and then there is the grief.
in my life so far, i lost 3 people to cancer. two of them extremely close ones where i was there at the end.
even if you know what is coming, you are never prepared. everytime it will hit you, even more the more you loved
that person. my grandpa is gone now for over 10 years and i still miss him. the last days were really hard for me.
what you can do, is telling them what you want to tell them. be honest. with you and with your dad.
that can give people the energy and the feeling of being loved and love is the strongest force on earth.
what comes after does not matter now, what matters is that you are here and your dad.
you will do great my friend, you are loved and you matter most 
you are not alone in this. we are here for you. i am proud of you sharing your vulnerability, sharing a part of yourself.
thank you and feel hugged.
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Friend, I cannot even begin to image how hard life is for you right now. You are so brave and the feelings you are having I think are the feelings that most go through, guilt being the one that I wish you didn’t feel. I am so sorry for your Dad and for the rest of your family. He has you by his side and although you feel helpless you are so needed and so loved. We are always here for you friend. Anytime. You can contact us on the heartsupport forum. Much Love to you . Lisa. x
Hi Friend. I am so sorry that you’re going through this. Cancer is one of those things that’s just impossible to navigate alone. I hope that you have lots of support right now. I lost my father to cancer when I was 11. I don’t remember much of it other than it was just pure chaos. I’m a cancer survivor. So I can relate to that side of the experience as well. It’s my hope that you’re making the most of the time with your father. The memories will be stained by the cancer experience but it’s still important to take time to make some memories. I know it feels so incredibly heavy. It’s a weight that no one should ever have to carry. Please know that there are so many people in this community that would love to help shoulder some of that weight. My heart is with you and your family. Please know that you’re always welcome in this community. We’re here for you.