there was this guy i met he was literally perfect we talked for months then started dating we didnt date long but he was always there supporting me even before we were together he listened to me vent i did the same he told me he loved me and would never leave one day he just changed his mind about all that i guess we had a talk and i said i would kill myself if he left i started to feel bad for forcing him to stay so i told him i was just overwhelmed and said that then he left its been 2 weeks i think and i cant get him off my mind i still watch his youtube lives and posts i still look at our texts i just want him to come back in the morning i always feel so empty just remembering the good morning texts then later in the afternoon im fine but only because im distracted by my friends i feel guilty for flirting with other guys even tho we dont talk anymore i also still text him but no answer i just need help i cant live without him
Hey Victoria, sounds like you’re having some big issues currently. I can’t give much, but do you have anyone else you could talk to? Just to pass time? I understand how you feel guilty trying to flirt with others, but that may help you move on. I’ve had people leave me before too, when my venting got to much, but I try to take it light. I think, if anything, give him time. I had a friend who once was forced to stay in a relationship because her boyfriend said he’d kill himself and she was horrible about it. She said that she felt guilty and that she had to cut contact after a while, just to try and get herself better. So maybe just take it day by day? I’m sorry, I don’t have much to help you with.
yes i do talk to people about it i talk to my first ex but we ended in good terms so i feel comfortable talking to him i do feel better every day but in the end i still feel empty i dont know why hes the second person ive ever dated so thats the reason this hurts so much
I’d love to help you out, but at least you have someone. I understand that empty feeling, so what I like, is to assure myself that someday I would be able to understand why. Maybe you should try that, I believe in everything being reveled in time.
I forgot i added him on ps app he said hi i said hi back we talked on ow for a bit he said i changed idk if that is good or bad still like him kinda but yeah
Damn, I understand the whole not knowing whether that’s bad or good thing. I would say take it as a good thing. I hope? Depends, in what way is he saying you changed?
I got some new hobbys actually started to hang out with ppl irl and started playing less video games also i guess my personality changed a bit i just dont care as much he always says as a joke i need to unadd you i used to ask why this time i just said alright then thats when he told me i changed
i feel horrible its not just that i miss him and how we used to be i also feel lonely, sad, not motivated anymore ive been homeschooled since 6th grade and its way different i just get handed textbooks and im expected to do it no lessons no 1 on 1 talk just me in my room its sad asf and i hate it, nothings new im getting bored of life but i wont kill myself only for my family and friends and yeas i do want to live all i want to do is be happy why cant i just be happy for one day i cant even dream anymore i just forget stuff i wake up skip school game watch a show work out and game then i eat and sleep im tired even though all i do is relax i dont know what is wrong with me
me and him still talk but today he said HE ALMOST GOT A GIRL PREGNANT LIKE WTF why is he telling me he still knows i like him so why he knows that telling me this hurts me but i think thats what hes trying to do i was in a good mood today but then yk he told me and my bestfriends girl is talking to other people and i told him but then hes still with her i keep on trying to help people but i cant and it makes me feel guilty i can never get help im begging please let something go right in my life without a consequence
nvm i just unsubbed and unadded him i need to move on even tho im cryng abt it now he said we arent friends then i said what are we then people that just know each other he said thats the most accurate way to put it… keep in mind he was my life for 5 months 5 FUCKING MONTHS I GAVE MY LIFE TO HIM im going to end it all one day even if its not soon he called me a blindy thats lifeless scared to do anything basic bitch sensitive egirl and yes im crying right now cause this hurts im technically saying everything i want to say to him here like how can you tell someone all this stuff then do the exact opposite im done with life
I started dating someone today but im still kinda hooked to that guy, its wrong and i shouldn’t be dating him but i need to heal and i keep thinking i need somebody else to help me cause i cant bymyself i feel so guilty and the guy im dating dosent even know im depressed
Hey Victoria, thank you so much for sharing all of this. You asked in one of your posts what is wrong with you, and I really you want to reassure you that nothing is wrong with you. Everything you’ve described through your posts here makes sense in light of the loss that you’ve been experiencing. When a relationship like this comes to an end it is a real grief to navigate.
It can be really hard, really slow, almost like a roller coaster to actually find your way through it and feeling like you reach a point of healing from this loss. It’s profoundly human to feel sad and disoriented after losing someone that you love and that you’ve shared important moments of your life with. I know it’s hard to process these emotions and to find your way throughit. Although you’ve definitely been doing the right thing by connecting with your friends and letting things out right here.
It makes sense to feel alone at times after losing someone you were in a romantic relationship with. Somehow, when you are in the relationship, it feels like the other person is almost completing you. And if you are not used to take care of yourself or spend time with yourself, it can be really brutal to suddenly face this disconnection and type of loneliness. It’s just hard to face solitude and to learn to appreciate it when it feels like it is a burden and something that hurts you.
The way your ex seems to have been interacting with you was indeed quite shocking and maybe provokative. Of course, I don’t know him personally and what were his intentions. But what is sure is that these interactions and being connected to him was feeding your pain at the moment, almost like adding salt on an open wound. Oftentimes when we lose someone we want to do our best to stay connected with them, but sometimes seeing them rebuilding the life without us adds more pain to our heart. It must have been a hard decision to decide to unsub and unadd him but you can be proud of yourself for doing so. This was a very healthy decision for your own healing during a time when you needed space for yourself in order to heal. I’m certainly proud of you for putting your well-being as a priority.
I also hear you out when you talk about the complexity of dating again. Surely it may help you overcome the pain you are feeling. But on the other hand, you may be confronted very soon to the fact that another person is not going to heal your wounds. Sometimes we throw ourselves in relationships because we try to find a solution to our pain that is outside of us while it needs to come from within us. It is of course more complicated and requires more time but it is essential to reconnect with ourselves when we feel like we’re carrying so much pain that we would rather end everything.
I do hope that this new relationship is going to bring a lot of goodness into your life. Although I would like to also encourage you to ensure to dedicate time for yourself every day, not to just stay occupied but to really reconnect with yourself and the way you feel. Maybe through journaling for example, which can be a very powerful outlet when we are suffering. This is really because running away from our feelings can help, just like we were using a bandaid to cover it up, but it doesn’t heal the wound itself. And you absolutely deserve to reach a state of emotional peace and hailing my friend. 