My heart is hurting too much

I’m from Switzerland and therefore I speak french, so please excuse my english.
In advance, thank you for taking the time to read me. Just being able to express myself here is a good thing for me.

These last years have been difficult for me, I feel that I have not done anything good and I have accumulated mistakes and failures. All this led me to suffer from a lack of self-confidence and a hatred towards myself.
Three months ago, my girlfriend whom I saw as the woman of my life, the most beautiful and perfect in the world decided to break with me. I was always jealous and negative with her because I believe that I did not believe in myself and that I did not deserve to be happy. Now I regret very much that I let my personal problems destroy my relationship. I hurt her by being so negative.
I could write a whole book about what I regret and what I could have done better. But today I still love her more than anything in the world and I can not imagine my life without her. Sometimes I even think that it would be simpler for life to stop now so as not to feel pain in my heart.
I can not feel any happiness and I have no desire and motivation anymore. I can not find hope and I do not know why I live. For the moment I’m just dragging an empty shell while letting the time pass. But my love does not weaken… The only thing I really feel is a pain in my heart, my love for her and the lack of her person.

Have you ever been in this state? And if so, how did you come out of this nightmare?




I haven’t because I never dated. I’m sorry you are going through this. I don’t have an advice to give or say something to cheer you up. If you want to vent more, feel free to post. Thank you for sharing.


Hey Max. Thank you for taking the time to be vulnerable and for sharing your story. I am so sorry you are hurting so much right now. Going through a break up with someone you deeply care about and love can be so painful. I have been there many, many times in my life. Most times I just didn’t want to go on living because it’s so painful. I understand. While your story is unique to you, I do know that the pain can be very real but it will also slowly fade in time.

You are having normal feelings and the fact your heart hurts means that you truly care about this woman. It sounds like you have a very beautiful spirit and you want to care for others around you. That is a wonderful attribute!

You may not be able to see how you can get past this heartbreak but I promise that one day, you will move on, you will grown and learn from it, and you will feel happier. That journey won’t be easy and it will be tough on many days but slowly, each day will bring some peace. Don’t be too hard on yourself either. Give yourself time to heal. It’s hard not having self-confidence. I, too, lack a lot of self-confidence. A lot of what you expressed is how I feel or have felt in many relationships.

Just know you are not alone. It may not feel like you can get over this heartbreak but I promise that you will. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. You are an amazing person just as you are!

I believe in you my friend. Stay strong!

  • Geoffrey

Thank you very much for your messages that go to my heart.

I have been in the hospital since last night and have been diagnosed with an infammation of the heart. Ironic no? But I think it was finally my body that sent me an alert for me to take control and that I take care of myself as you say.
I believe that this event will allow me to move faster hoping that there is no sequel in my heart.

Thanks again for your messages and I’ll keep you informed of my condition if you want :wink: Geoffrey what you said means a lot to me :slight_smile:

Hey Max! Thanks for the update. I’m sorry that you had to go to the hospital but I am glad you were able to figure out what’s going on. Hopefully you can start feeling better now. And yes, please keep us up to date on what’s going on. We are here for you my friend. We have to all stick together during our painful times so we can help each other heal. I hope that today is a better day for you! Stay strong :slight_smile:

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@MaxNeovox have you tried talking to her and explaining what was going on? I’m not sure if that’s possible or not. But if it is, it may be worth a shot. Heart ache is a very tender thing to even talk about so thank you for your words and your courage, it means a lot. Thank you friend.

har du försökt prata med henne och förklara vad som händer? Jag är inte säker på om det är möjligt eller inte. Men om det är kan det vara värt ett skott. Hjärtvärk är en mycket öm sak att ens prata om så tack för dina ord och ditt mod, det betyder mycket. Tack min vän. Hope that’s right

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Hi Max,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and story. First, know you are worthy of love. You are young and very handsome and while a break up feels like the end of the world, trust me it’s not. They say it takes the length of time of the relationship to get over the relationship but you will eventually feel better. Often when we first break up with someone we only remember the good things about the person and relationship. We forget why we didn’t stay together.
Don’t blame yourself! A true life partner stays and supports their other half no matter what. That’s why when you get married they say, “For better and for worse.”
Just remember, time heals all wounds and time wounds all heels. You will find a beautiful woman someday very soon who will love you for you, flaws and all. You will be happy and you will feel better. Hang in there!

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@Coyoteryder Hey ! Yes I’ve tried to talk to her many times but despite the love I feel for her I’m starting to think her love for me was not that true and so I deserve something better. Thank you too my friend !

PS: I don’t know if it’s right cause I’m not from Sweden hahaha

Hi everyone, thanks again for your nice messages.

I am still in the hospital with a scar in my heart but the doctor tells me that with a few months of rest everything should be fine.

Today I have no choice but to think of myself and be happy with myself. I think we should all have some selfishness to keep the ability to listen to your body and your emotions. Egoists do not necessarily mean to think only of themselves. Be good with others and with yourself. Believe in yourself and know that you are all good people and deserve to be happy. Sometimes we can feel bad or think that someone is bad but I think that basically everyone is good, we were just blackened by the emotional poison of people who acted stupidly or who were themselves poisoned by others. We can never cure everyone of this poison but everyone can help to avoid spreading it a little more. Do your best ! It’s never too late to change. Think about what you say because speech can be a powerful weapon. Do not take things too personally and avoid making too many assumptions that ruin your thoughts.

I love you all, take care of yourself. Believe in yourself, love yourself and love others.


I hope you keep healing and feeling better my friend! Take care :slight_smile:

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You deserve much better friend. Please don’t lose faith.

Yeah I’m an idiot. Lol

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Thank you my friend. And no you’re not an idiot !

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@HoldOntoHope24 I’m on the good way to heal and I hope you’re feeling better also brother. Take care too :slight_smile:

Good morning ( it’s 11:42 out here FYI lol)

Yes I have been in this state of mind. I also have not made such great decisions in the past not by breaking the law but with men. Long story short the guy who i loves my high school love my first and etc was horrible cheated, was mentally abusive and sometimes physically also his family who I lived with was not any better. I eventually built the strength to leave him but after that relationship was not the same innocent person who believed in love and thought the world was a good place. I was BROKEN. I eventually met someone else and I am in a currently relationship over ten years later. Through this relationship I have been over jealous, insecure and an emotional wreck. Everyday is a struggle but I recommend staying positive try to do things to get away from negative thoughts things you love. Also groups chatting or support maybe counseling if finically applicable but just try to get out the whole you feel like you may be in. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a large body of water and everyday I start off in the water underneath trying to swim upwards and someday maybe I get the surface and can breath freely and other days I get to the surface and a few mins or hours later I’m being pulled back down so I fight to get back to the top and finally get air. Everyday is not going to be easy but knowing this and constantly fighting will help you tremendously.

Keep your head up and btw true love always comes back :slight_smile: