I’m from Switzerland and therefore I speak french, so please excuse my english.
In advance, thank you for taking the time to read me. Just being able to express myself here is a good thing for me.
These last years have been difficult for me, I feel that I have not done anything good and I have accumulated mistakes and failures. All this led me to suffer from a lack of self-confidence and a hatred towards myself.
Three months ago, my girlfriend whom I saw as the woman of my life, the most beautiful and perfect in the world decided to break with me. I was always jealous and negative with her because I believe that I did not believe in myself and that I did not deserve to be happy. Now I regret very much that I let my personal problems destroy my relationship. I hurt her by being so negative.
I could write a whole book about what I regret and what I could have done better. But today I still love her more than anything in the world and I can not imagine my life without her. Sometimes I even think that it would be simpler for life to stop now so as not to feel pain in my heart.
I can not feel any happiness and I have no desire and motivation anymore. I can not find hope and I do not know why I live. For the moment I’m just dragging an empty shell while letting the time pass. But my love does not weaken… The only thing I really feel is a pain in my heart, my love for her and the lack of her person.
Have you ever been in this state? And if so, how did you come out of this nightmare?