… is a liar?
I’ve been watching a lot of videos from this Dr Fox guy. He’s pretty easy to listen to and doesn’t make me feel like I want to explode. Some of his videos hit me harder than others and I feel like maybe they might help other people too. Maybe someone here can benefit from this.
This is a huge work in progress and right now I feel positive that I can ignore those loud voices in my head telling me that I’m not worthy of love, but I know they will get loud again. Perhaps, it will be easier to tell them to SFTU?
Thank you so much for sharing this video. Although Dr. Fox mentions the Inner Critic in conjunction with BPD, I think it also applies to impostor syndrome and other broader contexts. Frankly, a very large segment of the population can probably relate to the Inner Critic statement of “I’m not good enough,” even if it’s something they have never felt comfortable sharing with others. I usually think of my Inner Critic as an unreliable narrator – and not all eyewitness testimony is credible even when the witness may project the best intentions. If the Inner Critic does not mesh with objective reality, then questioning it and replacing it with a more objective perspective is a productive step. From personal experience, that’s much easier said than done, however. Best wishes as you continue on your journey and thanks again for sharing about a topic that affects many people.
Well said, thank you for your thoughts
Hey, why not? I don’t have BPD, but can surely relate to this self-sabotaging voice that constantly tries to put me down. For me, it’s the manifestation of my depression and past traumas. I remember once watching an interview of C.Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park, who explained how these voices were like his “dark passenger” (cf. Dexter series). Something that’s always there, but would be more silent if he was putting himself out of himself - singing, family, giving love, etc. Unfortunately, this strategy also means running away from ourselves, which can be an endless and desperate journey.
Some people, as a strategy, like to name this Inner Critic, and I personally like this idea. When you put a name on something, you acknowledge its existence AND you detach yourself from it. You see it as it is, part of you but also not the conductor of the train, which makes it easier to say to these voices to stfu. Maybe something to think about?
Once someone in this community shared the following song with me, and it describes beautifully the experience of witnessing this Inner Critic in activity:
Thank you for sharing, friend. Your inner critic is a liar. Yes. And whenever you encounter it, you can ask yourself: is that statement motivated by love, compassion and grace? Is it serving me in a good way? If the answers are no, then you are absolutely right to dismiss what it says!
Sometimes, you need to take a step back and breathe.
Really examine things, like for example the guy I broke up with a couple weeks ago. The whole reason I came here was to feel validated that I was right. I did get that, but no one knows the whole story or his side. I did do the right thing because the incredible guilt and feelings of “something’s not right” that I felt all the time are soooo gone. I feel like huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and now I can focus on my growth. This was holding me in a dark place and I couldn’t breathe. I went thru a few days of confusion, anger, doubt, feeling like a POS basically. But, that didn’t last long because without the cause in my life, those emotions just aren’t there anymore. I actually feel free right now.
I have validation from how I feel now, not from how other people make me feel. (ok, that was deep lol)
So, I’m going to keep exploring this and probably be here a lot for support and I hope I can say something to someone about my own experiences that might help them.
The song is absolutely what I needed to hear right at that moment. Thank you so much for sharing it. I totally connected with it. My face is still wet from the tears lol.