My life is falling apart

I fell upon this website because i was having a breakdown and i searched up ‘i want to kill myself but i dont want to die’ and i read an entry and felt like maybe if i write something, even if i dont get an answer, it could help… even a little.
ive been depressed before. but i had a reason. a mixture of me being super stressed about school, and feeling like i was losing the only friend that mattered to me, set me onto a dark dark path of clinical depression. but somehow i managed to get out of it, i think its because i somewhat knew the cause. im someone that hates to feel alone, without my best friend i felt abandoned, so i went to find new friends, and afterwards, i explained how i was feeling to my bestie and we figured it out.
a year later, im here again, but its the worse thing i have ever experienced, it is ruining who i am now, and ruining my future, and i dont even know why. im not motivated to do anything at all. i went from a girl that is always motivated to do her schoolwork, to someone that is lazy, and can barely get a word on page until the morning of the due date. im behind in all my classes. and it makes me so fucking dissapointed in myself. im a high acheiver that is too lazy to do anything. im an artist. but i havent drawn or written in months. im failing my online class. im losing touch with who i want to be. i just want to die. i want to end it all. i feel these random outburts of pain and then feel the need to hurt myself, like punch myself or slap myself in the face. but i dont want to die. i just want my pain to end. and to think i was getting better for a moment. i was doing well and then somehow i crashed down again. a few days ago i was going up stairs in the subway, and i turned behind me, and i actually fucking contemplated just leaning backwards. so that i could die or end up in the hospital so i have a reason to not do my presentation. i have a presentation tommorrow and ive had all day to work on it but i just cant.
my life is fucking falling apart. im in eleventh grade, and this year is SO important for my future, for the university i want to go to. but now because of this fucking fuckery im going through, all that is down the drain. all of it. i used to be an all A’s student by the way. and in one semester, i managed to go down to C’s. in one semester. i want to die i want to stop living and i want this to end.

i dont know how to fix this. i want to fix my life. but i dont think its possible. i get out of it then i crash down again and again.

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doesitgetbetter (yes it does),

Man, this is brutal…to feel like you dipped into hell and somehow clawed your way out…and then to feel you’ve found yourself there all over again…it’s got to feel exhausting in general, just the concept of facing depression again, because you had to fight so hard to get yourself out the first time, there’s gotta be this gnawing thought in the back of your mind – do I even have the energy to get myself out now?! On top of the fact that you feel like your day to day existence – just getting through school – feels more than you can bear and crazy exhausting…top all of the depression stuff with the fact that now you feel embarrassed and disappointed in yourself because you feel like you KNOW what kind of potential you have and what you’re capable of doing, but then to not live up to it feels like this daily cloud of shame you’re walking under…plus these random spikes of pain…it feels like you don’t even really understand what’s going on which makes it all WORSE, because last time you “got it”, so you felt like you could do something about it, but this time, it just feels like you’re blindfolded, constantly clouded by reminders of shame, getting these random shooting spikes of pain, feeling completely incapacitated from doing anything in a positive direction, which feels hopeless, like this will never get better…

Man, just writing all of that out feels like this crushing boulder…I’m so sorry that’s what you’re facing right now, friend. I’m glad you decided to open up because the truth is you’re not alone in any of that…I’ve faced so much of that myself…the constant feeling like I’m underperforming, not understanding really why I feel like my life isn’t worth living, feeling these spikes of terrible pain of worthlessness, not really being able to self-assess WTF is going on with my life, but just knowing whatever the cost I don’t want to feel what I’m feeling…that was literally my junior year of high school too…and it was brutal…I didn’t make many healthy choices, and it wasn’t until I got rescued by a group of friends and coming to faith that things started to turn around…but eventually they did. I don’t remember the last time I felt depressed, and I really love my life, my family, my friends, and my faith – I say all of this to tell you: 1) you are not alone, and 2) you are not beyond hope.

Look at your own past – you certainly have some serious grit to have faced this before and conquered it. I know that it might feel like you’ve “exhausted your ability” but that’s not true either. You’ve proved to yourself that you’ve got fight in you, and you know you’re capable of it…you’re just in this brutal season…

One of the key things I think would help you in this place is taking some time to understand what’s actually happening…when you realized that you were spiraling into depression for a particular reason, it helped you center yourself and move forward in a productive direction (which by the way is ridiculously cool of you). I think if you were to be able to make sense out of this it might help you navigate this season as well.

We actually built a resource for depression – one of the best parts is that it does just that…it helps you understand what’s really going on underneath the surface and helps you make sense out of this pain…

If you haven’t gotten it yet, we will send you one for absolutely $0…no strings attached…just tell us where to ship it: heartsupport.com/freedp

I say this with 100% certainty – I believe in you. I believe you have what it takes. When you said, “I want to end it, but I don’t want to die” that’s actually really close to the truth…you want to end the pain, the depression, the feeling of purposelessness and loneliness…that is actually a good desire!! And that’s what helped you get out of it last time…just take the idea of hurting yourself or suicide off the table because that’s not the way you’ll end those things. The true path forward is: understand what’s going on first…it’ll help validate your pain, it’ll help clear the fog, and it’ll help spark your engine because once you know where you need to go, you’re very good and getting there.

Also know that whatever you face in the path, you are welcome to come back here anytime and receive encouragement and support in the process. You’re definitely not alone. Feel free to email me with any questions you have on your journey or throughout your process of going through Dwarf Planet (the depression book): [email protected]

You’ve got this friend. And we’ve got you
-Nate

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