From alex07xd.: ok so i just got diagnosed with autism and my ex is now trying to get back with me after i broke up with him for hurting me for the 5 time that day he never showed me love after the first week all he did was yell and gaslight me into thinking he was my saving grace because my home life is shit but that’s besides the point .now my childhood crush just told me he loved me and i was done with love but now i don’t know mine and his relationship is weird i relapsed after i found out my class rank and i carved my rank in to my thighs depression gose fucking pur.why the hell is my life fucking like this my first ever girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend than my friend left to kentucky than i got a new gf than that gf cheated with my fucking ex what the hell is my life at this point I have no reason to live nothing makes sense in this fucking world and its getting tiring at this point.
Hi there Alex!
I want to start off by saying that you are so incredibly strong and brave. I appreciate you being so open and honest with us.
You are heard. You are going through so much right now. Relationships, home life issues, negativity at school, and self harm are all incredibly difficult things to go through individually, let alone simultaneously. But if there is one thing that this shows me is how strong and resilient you are. You are fighting these battles like a champ. And we are here for you to lend a hand when you need it. With your courage, you have a bright future ahead.
Stay strong,
Blake
Hi, Alex! Thank you for being here.
That is a lot to go through, and it’s very understandable to feel the way that you do.
Seeing no reason to live is such a difficult place. I’m sorry you’re there right now. I’m sorry it’s taking such a massive toll on you.
Please know that we’re here rooting for you.
hey there! first off, thank you for being here and sharing what you’re going through. with the years you’ve been on this earth, it sounds like it has not been an easy time for your heart. with the relationships, class ranks/education, and overall life stuff, please know that you are seen and heard. i’m sorry that you also faced self-harm relapse. you are not alone in feeling those urges. when we find ourselves in heightened emotional stress, would you be open to trying out a different coping strategy? holding ice, venting creatively through art or loud music, and harm minimization strategies (snapping rubber band on wrist, pinching, sour/spicy candy, etc.) has helped many and i hope it can help you as well. you are not alone in your pain and on your journey. i believe in you to rise above all the negative experiences and emotions and find peace in a better future. with positive change, life does not need to remain hopeless as you are feeling now. you can do this. hope to hear from you again soon on how you’re doing! love, twix
From alex07xd.: so i tried the snap bend but peopel just keep yelling at me for doing it
Hey Alex,
It’s really hard when the twists and turns in your life turn into a knot that wraps itself around you and suffocates you. It feels like the harder you fight to figure it out, the tighter it gets. It can cause a lot of internal panic…it makes you feel like the only life you have is the one you’ve got, and the best hope you have for your life is for things to just continue on as miserable as they are and just hope to God that it doesn’t get worse…but experience tells you that won’t happen. So you try to find outlets for your shame, your self-hatred, but those outlets only make you feel more of the same, but trapped in yet another way. You hope that love will help, but it’s half the issue. It tears your heart to shreds over and over again. It feels like there’s nothing else you know of that could possibly change or make things different, and it just feels like you’re doomed and all out of options.
Fucking. Sucks.
It makes sense why you’d feel this way. Why you’d feel at the end of your rope. I’ve been there too. I remember looking at my life and thinking - if it’s just going to be this way - what’s the point? Why go on?
There’s a quote I love by the lead singer of a band I used to listen to (Of Mice & Men)…he said, “Life is like a book, and each season is a chapter, and each day is a page. I can’t promise that things will get better, but I can promise that it will get different.” There was something sobering about that. Something that caused me to look differently at life. I thought things had to get “right” to be better. But there was something really beautiful about finding HOPE in believing things CAN be different.
In my life, things did get different. A friend invited me out of my loneliness and into a community - I didn’t know it at the time and neither did he, but it saved my life. I started getting help. I got into recovery for my addictions. Because I met people who heard my darkness and didn’t think any less of me. That acceptance made me dare to do bold things…like take care of myself…because I started to believe I was worth it. Or at least…that maybe I could be.
I want to be someone to tell you: things can be different. And you are worth it. And one day I think you could thing that about yourself too.
-nate