My mother is broken

Please help me. I need advice.
My father is hard to explain, he is very strict and serious but at times he could be silly and funny. He told my mom he had been seeing a 26 year old woman for a few months now. Midlife crisis. My oldest sister is 22. He’s fucking being attracted to someone almost the same age as my sister. And now he’s gone on a short weekend camping trip with her. Camping has always been our family thing and it hurts to think he’s going off with her when he should be with us. He just left without telling us (he thinks me and my sisters don’t know, he doesn’t want us to). My mom is an amazing person, she had a brain tumor and survived. They’ve fought a lot but stuck together for me and my sisters. I feel like my mom is now going through hell partly because of us. She loves him so much, but he’s changed. I hardly see him and I could fucking kill him right now. No mercy at all. I feel hurt that he could do this.
And if there’s anything I can’t stand it’s my mom hurting. She’s talking about killing herself and if she kills herself I will too because I cannot stand to live with this man who was my father. I love her so much. We need her. She’s been there for me through thick and thin. I don’t know what to say. She doesn’t want to divorce because we’ll lose the house and the family and if it happens she wants to move away.
Please advise. We can’t lose her.

its a horrible situation, now you and your family suffer from someone elses actions.
ive been in a similar situation and i feel you and your mum need eachothers support.

look after your health first if either of you are having dark thoughts i highly suggest calling a profesional, someone who is qualified and is educated in how our minds work.

as for your dad let him do his thing, hes probably going to wether you try to stop him, when you see him sit him down with your mum and confront him, show him how much hurt he is inflicting by being so selfish, remind him he is you father and a husband,
if he wants to throw away someone who loves him and a child for something so temporary hes an idiot,
then ask him what his situation is, is he unhappy? has something happened? and does he want to work on it?

all in all just take turns in how you are all feeling at this point in life…pain will define you and make you stronger, just get back up after you fall.
all the best :slight_smile:

I’m so sorry that you have to go through this but please know that you are not alone. I’ve been dealing with a similar situation and the best thing to do is to be there for your mom. You, your sisters, and your mom can all be supports for one another and that many people coming together can be a strong force. I would also suggest seeing a professional like what @Lkoza1 said. They would know a lot more about how to handle a tough situation such as this but at the moment just be there for your mom and your sisters. Your family can really come together even when it feels like it’s falling apart. Don’t lose hope and know that everything is going to be alright. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.

Thank you guys for replying. I really want her to see a professional, but we’re in a tight spot right now. My mom doesn’t have a job but she’s looking. I showed her Heart Support and other forum walls similar. I’m just so worried the tumor will come back from all this stress. She’s hurting so much and I can’t believe my father would do this

I totally totally get that. My dad is about the same way.

Hey @Bvblover16,

thank you for posting- I know it can be hard.

I don’t have much advice to give here but please know you are not alone- we are here for you no matter what.

I believe in you. Stay strong- keep fighting.

With love,
Lyss (ur old pal Blurryface)