First time posting here, I really needed a place to get my thoughts out.
I don’t know what to do with myself honestly, of where to start. I recently left a job I had for 2 years and had gotten into a new place. Thing is though, at this new place, only a couple days in and I want to leave. It is making me severely unhappy.
I don’t have a problem with anyone there, it’s just something about the job environment is triggering something in my mind. I wake up with anxiety every day thinking about going to work there. It’s getting to be really bad. Anxiety getting more and more out of control it feels like, and I feel in my soul it will only get worse. I feel it is severely damaging my mental health.
I have tried telling my boss that I’m not enjoying my time there, or that position. She tells me she thinks I do well and I’m just being hard on myself. I don’t know what to do. My issue isn’t that I don’t feel capable of doing the job, it’s for some reason being there makes me extremely upset. I have cried so much in these last 2 weeks than I have in months.
I feel so guilty that I am wasting everyone’s time there, and that I shouldn’t leave. But I am so unhappy there, I want to leave. I want to try something else. But I can’t find the courage to just up and quit. It’s all very frustrating. I didn’t know I would be affected this way when I applied. Obviously I wouldn’t have done so if I had known.
I feel really awful about myself and this situation. I don’t know what to do, or what to say to get them to understand. I can’t seem to stress enough, even if it’s cliche, it is not them it is me. I don’t want to be stuck in a job I cry every day about, and me crying is not their fault.
Sorry if that got to be too much of a rant. Thank you to anyone who reads. <3