My old friend

[Donavand]

Hey everyone another night another journal or just writing what have you. So recently like I’ve said before i am in a semis business relationship and trying to get out, as this has all unfolded an old friend, well she’s more than an old friend got in contact with me. We keep everything platonic, but i remembered that I’ve always been madly in love with her. I messed the chance up years ago, now she’s mentally in places I am at she lives 16 hours away from me so we just Snapchat a lot. I feel conflicted though, she’s the world to me, 20 years we’ve been around eachother we almost dated but I missed the opportunity, now we’re friends talking a lot again but I feel like I should tell her that there are still past feelings there but I don’t want to lose the closest most trusted person in my life. If she didn’t feel the same I’d be totally fine but I feel like the right thing to do is tell her. It’s been great having her back around talking to me but I’m so paranoid of pushing her away now I don’t know what to do. Do I carry on just talking and all or do I tell her I was madly in love with her then and still think I am now. I have a lot of issues with relationships of all kinds I’m not great at being around people it sucks, well that’s my thoughts for now. Day two not sleeping going to try happy Monday everyone stay strong keep the faith o love you all

[taylor]

Hey friend,

This sounds like a really tough situation. On the one hand you are talking to someone who means a lot to you and I’m sure you’re enjoying the time you spend chatting and catching up. On the other hand, you want more and it’s hard to ignore that pull when you are engaging with her. Plus, you don’t want to feel dishonest and not tell her how you feel, but you also don’t want to risk losing her if she doesn’t feel the same way.

My encouragement surrounding this is something my dad said to me years ago that has really stuck with me. When you have to make a decision, wait until it is absolutely necessary for you to decide, because by tha time the right choice will become clear. How does this apply to you? Well, I am willing to bet that there will be a time probably not far from now where you will know if it is right or wrong to share your feelings. Until then just try to remain present. Enjoy the conversations you have and wait to decide until you have to.

Hope this helps.

Sending love,

T