My only opportunity to be a father and a family ma

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My only opportunity to be a father and a family man was when i was 17. She had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. In that time i dedicated everything to my new role as a father. But when it was gone i didnt know how i felt. But now looking back, i realize i still mourn the loss of the child i never met. When she cheated on me after i cheated on her, i left her and she moved to new jersey. Thinking i would be much happier, it proved to me that i was so wrong. To this day, at 26 year old, i still cry because i never met my child, my purpose, and i blamed God for a long time. I got into drugs, alcohol, violence, luckily i never got arrested. But here i am. Still saddened. But i still hope that one day things will come full circle

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Hi 🩵 grief isn’t linear, and there’s no timeline for it. It will still come up at random times, years later as you’ve been experiencing. I’m so sorry, losing a child is so difficult. Things may come full circle, I have hope for you 🩵

Loss can often induce destructive behavior. The helpless feelings make you give up on trying, and then you try to fill that hole with whatever is at hand. Just keep in mind that you are not those destructive behaviors, and you are worth the effort to invest in yourself. Be kind and use gentle language with yourself. Speak of your lost child, because they existed for a brief while. Continue to invest in yourself to be that person you were becoming while dreaming of being a parent.

Your child is watches over you every day through the good moments and the tough ones. Carry them with you always and celebrate them as they are a part of your walk on this earth and you will be reunited in the next life. My wife and I lost a child and we understand your hurt. You are loved. You are enough. We love you.