Hi, thank you for sharing your story.
Having such difficult childhood and relation with your parents must be so hard on you. I cannot imagine how devastating this can be on someone growing up and looking for support. I don’t know your full story but i do still see someone that wants to feel better and music seems to give you a way to express your emotions, to relate with someone’s words and way of saying how we feel.
This track brings so much people close together and letting us somehow connect with similar emotions, similar experiences. Honestly i think it is brave from your side to openly say about your problems, and about your struggle. Of not knowing what to do. That shows to me that you are aware of what’s going on, what are your troubles and you asking for support. This is very important and your emotions are really valid, true…
But please remember, your story, your moments in past, or parents actions don’t have to define who you are and who you want to be… i read somewhere that our world starts with us, and it will become something that we want if we start with ourselves, our thoughts, approach, maybe some self recognition, self love… you know, to let ourselves be vulnerable, to forgive all the small things that we are mad at ourselves about… It is okay to be broken, and i understand how could you get into alcohol with such difficult past… But at the same time, i dont think this is whole you I believe with you awareness, recognizing what’s wrong, what you want to achive - that recognition is a first huge step to be better, to get of the alcohol maybe, to figure out what life you want to have.
I wont be telling you about how to deal with the addiction, cause i am sure you are smart enought to know that… What i want to say is that i belive you have strenght and enough awarness of knowing right steps to take, to build things around the way you want.
Lastly, please be sure there pleeenty of poeple, friends, music fans, here, everywhere that have some love to others, that can help you if it is only by listening, speaking up, spending time, or helping in other forms. Same as we all are here
Sending all my good thoughts and best wishes to build whatever there is you wish, to become your life
Matt