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Belongs to: Therapist & Lawyer react to Rain City Drive
My problem is i feel nothing, good or bad. i’m so detached from existance that i often find myself questioning if i even exist at all. I’ve been slightly anhedonic for my entire life but now it’s full-blown and everything has lost meaning and is pointless. Even food has lost all taste
Hello, I’m sorry that you are experiencing this numbness and lack of interest, or desire in life. I can relate to this in my own ways. We are all different and experience things differently, and for different reasons sometimes experience the same things. So it’s hard to say why, and for what reasons any one person is going through a thing. It can even feel impossible to explain why something your own self is experiencing is happening sometimes. So although I might not have specific answers. I do belief in everyone’s ability to eventually find relief to the experiences they are having, that they would like to see changed. I believe that opening up and expressing what you are going through can be a huge part of trying to figure it out. So I am glad you are doing so here, and if you would ever like to share more please feel free. I think the more context you can apply to your situation, even just for your own self, can sometimes help in figuring things out a bit, but it can also give us more to share with peers, or professionals to further their understanding when trying to reach out for help.
Have you seen any health professionals about how you are feeling? I don’t think this state and feeling is something anyone deserves to have permanently looming over them. Which is why it might be good to try to find a health professional with experience, to try to guide you in feeling better. You deserve to feel more connected to your existence, and find things that are of interest to you. Although I do think, that if done intentionally, being in the place between good and bad can actually be a positive. Being content and finding balance in-between the good and the bad I think can actually be really hard to achieve for some people. But to be in that space because of detachment and lack of interest. This might cause it to feel like less of a positive because there has been no need to find balance. You are just kind of stuck in that place without a desire to be there. I can relate to being stuck in that place. I was even forced to pretend like that place shouldn’t exist. I was told to pick a feeling on a daily basis in a group setting, in-patient. When I was feeling nothing, they wouldn’t allow the group to move on unless I picked an emotion from the list in front of me. It was terrible to be told that what I was feeling wasn’t a feeling. Which is why I believe that numbness and lack of feeling in itself is a feeling, and that you deserve to be accepted and acknowledged for that feeling. That you should know that you are not alone, that you are allowed to feel how you are feeling, and that there is another side to that feeling that can be found in time. When we find the right peer, or professionals. Not all situations are going to be suited for us. I hope that you can find answers in time to what it is you are going through and that your day today is going a bit better then the last. <3