So I don’t know if anyone out there can relate but I used to take vraylar. I’m currently not on any meds and haven’t been for about 8 months. My family doesn’t accept that I have this diagnosis. I’ve always felt left out and different. I know everyone who has bipolar isn’t the same but with me I have these burst of energy and it’s euphoric and I feel like I can do anything and my mind is racing. I have all this energy and I’m very forgetful and then I have the depressive state where I’m extremely tired even though I’ve slept most of the week and my family just calls me lazy or say I’m not trying hard enough to get up and do things. I’ve also been diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety. So my mood just fluctuates all the time and it does very quickly sometimes and it’s really hard to explain but I just feel judged or they say get over it or I’m trying to take the easy way out of life. I really wish that my family would understand that my life is very difficult and I’m trying my best but I just feel like they do things to set me off and I just get this rage where I can’t control my emotions and I’m cursing, yelling and possibly throwing stuff or breaking things because I can’t control my moods or regulate my emotions. I feel personally attacked and they question me about my choices like I’m very open about dressing however you want and the way you’re dressed shouldn’t be the cause of someone’s actions and they just say that I’m just too risky sometimes and I shouldn’t behave a certain way. I’m just a free spirit and I just want to be accepted in this world but I don’t even feel accepted by my own family and it makes me very sad. Sorry if this is all over the place my mind is kinda like a train that never stops so I’m just throwing it all out there.
I appreciate reading your rant @Kate6. I can relate to quite a bit of the ups and downs but I’m undiagnosed and self medicating. I feel left out and different also. Most of that is my own doing, at this point. Some people may never understand or accept you but many people out there will.
Thank you! I really appreciate your reply. It’s hard but I’m just trying to keep pushing forward! I hope you do the same!
I can also relate. My girlfriend just left me after four years. A lot of it was my fault for not getting counseling. It’s like I’m doing fine and then before I know it things are out of control. Most people unless they have dealt with these issues cannot comprehend what it is like.
Bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety are a lot to handle at the same time. Being diagnosed is a huge step and I hope it will help your family to understand, with some time. It also sounds that your family doesn’t really understand whats going on and/or is worried for you but express it the wrong way. Maybe communication could help. It could be interesting, for example, to have an appointment with a doctor so your family can hear from someone else, a professional, what is bipolar disorder and what it implies. They could also ask the questions they need and have concrete answers.
Anyway, it’s just a suggestion!
I also wanted to say to you that you are not weird nor different. You are you and you belong to this world, with your beauty and your vulnerabilities. Sending much love your way.
Thanks for your response! I’m sorry to hear that, but yea not a lot of people understand and no matter how hard I try I can’t make them! It’s a lot to deal with, I am in counseling and I thinks it’s helped but I still have my issues.
Thank you so much for your kind words! It is a tremendous amount to deal with at the same time and it’s pretty exhausting but That is a good idea, I’ve never thought of it like that. I will try that out and see how it goes. Thanks again so much!