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Belongs to: Can you relate to zach s struggles with anxiety sh
My symptom is pretending everything’s OK when it isn’t. I’ve never been one to like to share my feelings.
That’s wicked common to pretend things are OK when they are not. It’s sometimes a survival strategy depending on what situation you are in or who you are with. But you responded here and that’s a first step in reaching out. Maybe you can put your mind into finding people you can trust to talk with. One thing that can help is to sincerely offer to listen to these people when they need a listening ear so it’s a two way thing. Wishing you the best.
This hit me like a freight train. Pretending things are ok and putting on a happy face - perhaps shoving it down so that you don’t even think about it…at least for a while. I imagine that can feel incredibly lonely and frustrating. Like you have to go it alone and do it all yourself. Perhaps you feel like you have to be the strong person for everyone else but maybe there isn’t anyone there for you. Perhaps it feels hopeless, like “what’s the point of even talking about it?”
I feel that in my core. You’re not alone in that.
For a long time I was the exact same way. There was a safety in it as well as a fear. Like if I bottled things up, if I kept to myself, then sure things were bad. But I wasn’t burdening anyone else. I wasn’t putting my problems on them. And even deeper under the surface, I wasn’t opening up and being vulnerable. Because being vulnerable meant that people could maybe hurt me or disappoint me or let me down. And hey, it’s how I was raised. It’s what came natural because we weren’t an “open” household.
But also - as Brian mentioned, you commented here. That counts for something. It’s like when you finally break the seal on that air tight jar, and it gets that much easier to twist the lid off. It’s taken me years and years and years and years and lots of therapy (had to find the right therapist and the right TYPE of therapy) to start putting things into practice. And it’s a daily practice that goes better on some days than others. But i’ve learned how to open up, productively, in little increments. Learned to trust. Heck, I’ve even made a bunch of friends this year that are willing to be there for me.
And I don’t mean to make this post about me. But what I do mean to do is share my story a bit. Share my progress. And let you know that I think it’s possible for you. Maybe not now - there’s no rush. Good things come in time. But you are a person who is worth supporting. You deserve support. And care. And kindness. And I think you took a huge first step just by chatting.
Im proud of you. And I hope that you keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day at a time.
@melanie_nichole_smith 
that is true 