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Belongs to: HeartSupport_Fans Content #2564
My wife and I were expecting twin boys and last month both of them were stillborn. It feel like the world should have stopped but somehow we are still expected to keep going.
Oh friend, this is such a pure injustice. For your wife and you to lose the children you were expecting is already such a brutal loss in itself. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through together, and how painful it must be to find hope through it. You have these projects for the future and suddenly it feels as if it’s taken away from you. Then on top of it there is this call from the outside world, this pressure that forces you to somehow keep moving on, keep being committed to your life responsibilities, keep living almost as if nothing happened… It’s so unfair. It feels like such a deep betrayal. It’s as if it was robbing you from your right to mourn and process what happened. It pushes something that has completely shaken your world to a secondary position while it should be present as you need right now.
There is such a painful in the way we experience time when we lose someone we love. It absolutely feels like time has stopped - that your world has stopped, but then you keep being reminded of time that keeps moving on for the rest of the world, and this constant pressure of not taking any break but moving forward, again and again… To the point of feeling like the loss that happened in your life would be a burden that should be hidden away with shame. While it should be the opposite, as your heart craves for a break, some rest, a second of relief, a time to breathe and feel what needs to be felt. A time for genuine love and recognition for your pain.
It makes completely sense to feel the way you do right now, and truth be told: you have all the right to take your time. No one gets to dictate that for you, even if practiclaly it can be challenging at times to compose with already existing responsibilities/ commitments. Regardless of what anyone could say about it though, they are not in your situation, they are not feeling what you do, and everthing else can come as secondary when your mourn such a loss. You get to decide the time you need, and to be in movement again in your own terms, when you feel ready - not because of peer or social pressure. It is an unfair “fight” to lead on top of the vulnerability and pain that is already present – it should be so different, unfortunately. Although you are absolutely worth it. Your heart is worth the time it needs, as well as for your wife. You two deserve all the love possible right now, all the peace and respect for your time, your feelings, your privacy, your needs. I hope with all my heart that it will be possible for you both to find your way through, and push away any consideration that don’t need to invade your space right now.
My heart goes out to you both today. I’m sending friendly thoughts your way and hoping the best for you. Thakn you for sharing today. <3