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My world is falling apart and I just need to die


#1

I literally don’t get how things gets so fucking bad in winter.

I want to die. Why can’t I just die???

I’m overreacting IM SURE. JUST LIKE MY MOM SAYS. I JUST NEED TO CALM DOWN. THERE’S NO REASON TO CRY.

JUST STOP. JUST FUCKING STOP.
I LITERALLY DON"T GET IT.

WHY CAN’T I JUST FUCKING DIE.

I"VE MADE IT A YEAR FUCKING YAY.

No one fucking cares you’ll all forget me you’ll all get over it.

I’m just a self selfish piece of shit that deserves to die.

I’m so sick of being alive for fucks ssake. Everything goes wrong.

It’s whatever. I’ll just deal with it right???

Just forget about me. Move on. I’m worth literally nothing. I’m too fucking weak to live anymore.


#2

Today I flushed my pills. Today I wrote and burned my first suicide note. Today I’m done letting the fear win, I’m done letting the wish of death take over. If you can find some encouragement in that then I’m glad. Peace will win and fear will lose.


#3

Friend, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. Life isn’t easy, that’s for sure. I am glad you let us know how you are doing and are sharing your struggles. I am also glad that you regained new strength and can find it in you to encourage others in the middle of your own battle. I am proud of you, friend. Keep hanging on. Life isn’t easy. But it is worth it. :two_hearts:


#4

Look, I know it’s a lot right now. For you, and for many. You have to look around you though. so many people love you. People you don’t know. Take a minute a breathe. Slow down. Block the thoughts of it. I’ve been here. Not too long ago. You need to reach out to people. Call the Suicide hotline, or something. Just don’t do it. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. If you would like to have joy, sometimes you have to go through pain. I care for you. WE care for you.

Stay strong, there is joy to come,
MoP


#5

Everyone is scared. Everyone hurts, and nobody ever fully understands. Life can be very confusing even when it comes to something as simple as things seeming harder durign the winter. You obviously have a lot of emotion and it seems that you need an outlet so go ahead and let it out here. I remember hating waking up because living was painful. 10 years i spent not knowing why i hated myself. nothing made sense. But now it does and here is why. We just met and i can empathize with you and now neither of us are alone in that. so if it meant another 10 years of agony so that i could come to tell you that you are a valuable person i would do it again. TO me it doesnt seem like you are too weak to live,but maybe you are overwhelmed? maybe by expectations or circumstances. fear and anxiety can make us believe lies baout our selves and the truth about you is amazing. You are a living breathing human bieng a miralce of natural birth. You have a heart that is capable of loving others and recieving love. and now we are forming bonds and relationships based on common trials. while i cant everything away from you and make things easier i can say that you have the ability to conquer your problems through love and now you have a testimony to share when you come across that person who was in your spot and be able to let them know that they are not alone int his world either. Hold fast becasue you are worth it. Winter is supposed to be a time of rest and i hope that you can find that peace in your heart. you are worth it and dont believe the lies that you arent.