I am going to share a prefer overview if what this links too but than go into what is really bothering me. As a child my father at the time (another story but not needed) was sexually molesting me as a kid. When I first started regaining the memories it took awhile to get many of them and they didnt come all at once. So I keep getting hit by them and wouldnt have any idea when. I because if the memories I had regained had thought my dad started when I was 5 years old and keep doing so till I could finally end the seeing of him on my own terms. Well the last few days have been to put it truthfully awful. I have been trying to make it one day at a time and I feel like I am that billion little pieces that fall to the ground when something glass breaks. Yes I feel shattered and I feel awful. I have been trying hard not to be angry with myself over how much I am letting what I got back upset me. Like I legit am beyond upset. I know that it I dont give it power it doesnt have any but it is too late this is just eating at me. So here is what I remember the major piece of it. I regained the fact that my father at the time started molesting me at 3 years of age so two years before I had thought he had started. I have been regaining the memories of those 2 years back and they arent pretty they are making me want to harm so badly. Sadly they are making my other issues like scratching till my skin is raw without realizing it to biting my lip during flashbacks and stuff. It is really hard and there is only so much my dog can do to help.
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I’m sorry friend. I have been battling something very similar. I know the challenges of these type of traumas and Im so sorry that you ever had to experience any of that and that it is weighing on you so much. I love you very much and I appreciate you. I’m only ever a DM away.
-Kitty