Happy New Years Eve… or, something. This is the first year that’s felt absolutely awful. So much went wrong this year, and new years is probably the worst. I’m going to be truly alone this New Years. Last year, I celebrated it with my family and friends, and I had a great time, but this year I’ve lost so much and gained so little. Recently I spent about 20-40 bucks on two select people, buying them some games! Cool, right? Until they ghosted me. It sucks. I know they can’t and won’t do anything to return the favor, and it hurts even more. I pour out so much for people, just wanting them to be happy, but they seem ungrateful. Everybody seems so superior to me, so I guess that’s why. This probably seems really damn petty, but I’ve written this much, so I’m not stopping. Lately, my work ethic has just dropped. I’m too damn lazy to do anything, but when I do want to do something, people are busy. I even refused to go out with my friend today because I was hoping that something, at least something would happen. I feel like garbage ranting about this, but I need to get this off of my chest. Lately, my friends have made me feel unimportant, but I can’t break away from them. Where would I go? And it’s not like they’re probably doing it on purpose, they just seem to make me their second choice. I don’t really have anything else to say, so thanks for reading this post and I hope you have a great New Years.
hey friend i can relate. Im a very giving person as well and i often feel taken advantage of. What helped me is that i repeat something that was told to me a long time ago.“Love is the overwhelming concern for another without any regards as to what we receive in return.” NOw i totally understnand wanting some sort of reciprocation, but we cant make that decision for others…, but DO NOT STOP LOVING. Im sure that there are/were people in your life that gave to you that you cant payback, so we can pay that forward to. when im able to let go of what i get back and simply love people im far more at peace… because LOVE is a choice and i choose to love because of who i am. Feeling like you want to isolate and work ethic dropping absolutely makes sense. Maybe something is going on in those peoples lives that you dont know about and it has nothing to do with you which is why they seem to ghost. Its hard to know what is in another person’s heart. Nobody is superior to you, but i relate to feeling that way. What i want to say is that your relationships dont validate you. Love is a hard choice but only the strongest and bravest choose it. You are strong and brave, dont lose hope or love because people need it. They might not appreciate until they look back one day, but that investment in them is worth it. Choose Love <3