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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Hope by NF
Nf music gives me a slight hope but i still waoe up wishing for death daily. Today was my birthday so of course i put on that fake face for my wife and kids but 44 years and being where i am i feel pretty helpless and like an utter failure. Sadly these comment pages are the only place i can vent my constant depression.
I’m so glad you shared and that you do have a place to vent and get it off your chest.
It probably feels like you’ve let down all those people who’ve seen you as a rock and seen you as strong.
I know that reaching out is hard and scary. It’s painful because we have to work through all the hurt and there’s this fear that “what if it doesn’t get better”.
If there is one way I can encourage you to start the conversation maybe with your wife or a close friend-
Something I always say to the people I love is that I would rather mourn with them through their hurt than to mourn their life.
And I extend that to you as well.
Hi Friend, First of all, Happy Belated Birthday and I mean that. It is so hard isn’t it to have to put that “I’m alright” mask on when you actually feel that overwhelming sense of unshakeable sadness, that helpless feeling of being in a dark place you cannot get out of and or that crippling sense of worthlessness that comes from guilt or self blame for things that were never your fault.
I am so sorry you have been struggling and it is good to hear that these pages have been helpful to you, It is so important to be able to get those feelings out and not keep them whizzing around inside causing upset and ailment.
Have you ever been able to talk to anyone about how you feel? It is hard to take that first step to speak to anyone whether it’s a friend, member of the family or your doctor but writing on here is your first step, getting the right person to listen and getting the right help could literally change your life. You deserve that friend and so does your family, Imagine spending quality time with your children smiling and laughing and it not being a mask? How amazing would that be for all of you. Of course everything is one step at a time but you are worthy of that effort, you are 44 and far from a failure.
If you would like to open up a bit more, I/we are responding to you via the Heartsupport, support wall, if you wanted to come there and post there anytime you will get replies too.
Friend, you have so much life left to live and you deserve for it to be the best it can be, with love, laughter and memory making. I hope this is truly your first step to changes. We are all here to support you. Much Love Lisa. X
Hello friend,
Your story touched me, that’s for sure. I’m only a year apart from you, and it can be a challenge going through everything. This is definitely a safe space, that’s why HeartSupport exists. We want to help. We want you be okay, but also give people like yourself a space where it’s okay to not be okay. You taking these steps to vent your depression is actually a blessing, because you ARE here to open up and be heard.
To echo what @AliceBlue said, I would definitely try and have a conversation, especially with your wife. It could be a great next step and give you some reassurance that you don’t need to do this alone.
And as @Lisalovesfeathers said, you’re more than welcome to join the support wall too, not only to share your feelings, but maybe other posts may resonate with you as well.
Please regardless keep us updated and we’re always here for you <3