No one hates me like I hate me

Self hatred is something that I have struggled with my entire life. I constantly feel like I am ugly and fat. I feel like no one really cares about what I have to say. I hate being around people because I feel like I annoy them, and that they are simply tolerating my existence. I have struggled with self harm for years, and these feels just make that compulsion worse. I really just don’t know what to do anymore…

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Hey Clarissa!
I am so sorry that you feel so terrible about yourself. I have relatives who struggle with similar things you are going through and it can be utter hell.
First I just want you to know that we love you here and are here to help in any way we can. So please let us know what we can do.
Second, I wanted to ask you a question. How do you want to feel about yourself?

Hi Ira,

Well I suppose that it is naive to think that I will ever love every single thing about myself. I guess I would just like to not shudder every time I see myself in a reflective surface, and I would like to feel deserving of the love people do give me. I would also like to not assume that they are lying just to make me feel better.

@clarissa_tanyoue, looks aren’t everything. Being beautiful on the outside doesn’t matter. You fight, and you’re still here and alive, that you have a heart of fire, and that makes you beautiful. So what if other people can’t see it? You are the most important person in your own life, you deserve love from you. Please try and don’t hurt yourself. I know how hard it can be to hold on, but I BELIEVE IN YOU.
You don’t owe anything to other people and if they can’t see the strong, amazing person you are, that’s their loss.

We are the in between, cast down as sons of war
Struck to the earth like lightning on this world we’re torn
We will cause the pain of living out there, love
Take joy in who you are
We know our wings are flawed

Fallen Angels, by Black Veil Brides