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Not a physical loss but I’ve felt I’ve lost my best friend and my most recent relationship. My most recent relationship was the healthiest I’ve ever had and we simply were simply the right people at the wrong time and couldn’t continue because of our own personal paths. I also felt I’ve lost one of my best friends and feels like a stranger, I don’t know where I stand with them and hate knowing that I lost someone that I considered one of the people I’d be close with for a lifetime
Oh friend, my heart goes out to you. For your relationship first, it’s so hard to have to make the decision of staying apart and following different paths. Even though there are life circumstances that can interfere and are beyond your control, it gives this feeling that the decision is a forced one. You see the person then going away while you follow your own path, and think about all the what ids, the opportunities missed. It’s such ab ittersweet feeling to know internally that you made the best decision, but also to wish that circumstances would have been completely different.
But also with your friend, it’s yet another type of challenge emotionally. You’re in the middle of this relationship but don’t know where to stand because it’s just unclear. You feel intuitively that something is off and maybe you lost each other, but at the same time a part of you wants to keep holding on to hope… as long as things are not “official”, it feels hard to find closure or accept a situation the way it is. Because there is still this door that seem to be slightly opened, and makes us wonder “what if there was a way for things to get better over time? How can I tell if it’s the end or not?”. It’s hard to consider the possibility that what we thought would be real for our entire life, may be shaken by unexpected events and changes over time.
I’m sorry that you have been navigating these types of losses. The absence of clarity affects our ability to find some closure in our relationships. And when a decision feels forced by circumstances, it’s also hard to accept how things have to be. It feels like an injustice.
I hope that, through all of this, you make sure to be as kind to yourself as possible. These losses certainly bring heavy emotions and it’s okay to take all the time you need to explore them, feel them, process them - even if it’s repeated multiple times. You deserve peace of mind, of heart. I wish you all the best moving forward. Sending hugs your way.
I also had to part ways with my friend. She was a classmate from my old school, the very first person I had socialized with in a very long time, so she’s quite important to me… Unfortunately, we both moved to different schools, which meant we were separated by outside conditions, not because of anything negative from our friendship.
I still have our past conversations on my phone to this day, and I’m still able to see her current statuses every now and then (I use WhatsApp for texting.) They bring back bittersweet memories of when we would sometimes chat or check up on her on text (I was still way too shy to actually meet in person and hang out.)
Hell, I even used to sometimes imagine her and myself in a little cabin in the woods, living together as roommates… (One of the signs that helped me discover my own orientation.)
I can absolutely understand your loss, and I can relate to how you feel about this. And it hurts to see them leave, and that there’s nothing you could do about it.
But, remember to stay hopeful. If you do make a new friend, it may not feel the same as what you had with your best friend. And that’s okay. It might feel wrong at times, but try to be grateful that you had that recent friendship.
I hope you’ll manage to accept this pretty big change, and meet someone new.
First of all, thanks for your heartfelt comment. I want to remind you first that every kind of loss, no matter how big or small is valid. Loosing a friend or soneone you love is equally painful in whatever way you loose them. It’s good you found the right person to love but sorry that it was at a difficult time. I’m sure you haven’t loss your friend. You just need to speak to them and get their perspective!
