So to open up about a lot of shit, growing up I was always told I wasn’t doing good enough because I wasn’t achieving like my brother was. I was also punished for every mistake I ever made with punishments like being forced to stand in a corner facing the wall with no food for the day. When I opened up aboutnmy depression, their response was it must be for attention. I’ve never really felt comfortable telling anyone about shit until now as I’m working on finding healthy ways to cope. I usually would self harm or Medicare and keep it bottled up. My last therapist just told me “pray about it cause Jesus wants to hear about it” so that didn’t work out to well. Now I’m also dealing with a racist friend who I won’t get into what he says but it makes me super uncomfortable. The only quote I’ll tell you is that he has said the lgbt community doesn’t need special privlages to get married. If they rely on that then they don’t deserve it. He doesn’t know but I’m bi so I’m part of that community. I’m very anti confrontation because I’m very passive and go with the flow. I’m also his only support in his recovery so if he relapsed id feel like it was on me. Any advice on how to handle either situation or both would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for opening up, it’s a hard thing to do, especially if you’ve had a bad response in the past. It’s not okay the way you were treated by your family, so know that not everyone is like that. I would suggest finding a therapist that you feel very comfortable around and see growth with. If your current therapist isn’t what you need, try someone else. It means opening up to another person but I know there’s someone out there that you can help you grow! Please don’t give up hope to find healing from your depression and your family experience. It sounds like you are already on a great start because you are getting help and looking for healthy ways to cope.
On the note of your friend, that’s very hard. Please understand that you can do everything possible and he may still relapse but that is not all on you because it’s ultimately not you making his decisions. I hope that you can be open with him because it is very hard to not be able to be yourself or hide such a big part of your life and you should be able to do that with friends You have to take care of yourself, too
Thank you for taking the time to express yourself and be vulnerable for us. That fact that you are willing to reach out about this AND ask for advice should tell you that half the battle is already won. It sometimes takes years to a lifetime to get to the point where people openly ask for advice.
Concerning your situation being raised, I cannot imagine the pain and anger you must feel. Just thinking how it would affect me, I would be experience much anger and suffering. Just know that you have value and something to share with the world. Life is straight up miserable sometimes, but people like you who fight through it will be able to help this world push on.
As far as your friend goes, I would echo what was said earlier. You are not responsible for his choices. If you are not in a place to handle what he is going through, I think it would be wise to cordially walk away.
Hope this helps.
While I have not suffered anywhere near what you have, I also used to be someone who avoided confrontation. As a result of this, I ended up being used and walked over simply because I didn’t want to hurt others. In the long run, this only made me angry and resentful, and it in no way helped me move forward.
Stand up for yourself, believe in your own worth. Everyone has a soul, everyone has value and you are no different. I am not advocating that you actively seek to attack or hurt others, but rather fight for yourself. Nobody has the right to push hateful words down the throat of another person, so don’t stand for it. If you need to cut certain people out of your life or tell them the blunt truth, do it. In the long run it will help you surround yourself with people who truly care about you.
I know that to do this is difficult to begin with, let alone while you are suffering with depression but never give up. By the sounds of it you have been through hell, but yet you are still breathing and living and I personally believe that is awesome, so don’t give up.
As a final thought, PLEASE do not think that it will be your fault if your friend relapses. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others and at the end of the day, he is the one who chooses what to do in his life, not you.