From slyy...: made posts before but so long. either way, no clue what to do with my life. im a med student 2nd year (6 years total to finish, not 3), and i hate it and not sure i wanna continue. discuss with parents, havent done anything, and they completely freak out, mum yelling she will *** herselff if i dont do this, dad is just assisting my mother hes nice but very stupid. thing is, its affected my mental to the point of self ####, but mum still doesnt care. i have 0 friends, wasnt allowed to get a job and basically dont talk to anyone because im rarely allowed to go out when im younger. ive realised that my parents are controlling, but i have no idea what to do now. they do love me, and i know thats SUPER typical to say, but they really do. they had a really messed up life, near homeless and did everything in their power to make a house and give me a lot of things and gifts i wanted when i was younger for free. so i have 0 idea what to do. they manipulate me and control me, but they actually really do love me, and always want the best for me. they are very negative towards anyone outside since they got screwed over by all their friends, society etc. should i run? if i do, i lose my family forever because mother always talks about ### herself, and my father has no one else. if i stay, i cant keep doing med and i will do something irreversible maybe. either way im lost in life, dont even know what other career i would do since i went into med for mother never considered others
Hey there friend,
Thank you for reaching out to us. We appreciate you. You’re going through a lot right now. Please be kind to yourself. That feeling of being lost can be so terrible, but all tough times will eventually pass. I know that going through med school can really limit your free time, but I think that maybe making some time to see a therapist regularly could have a big positive impact.
I want you to know that you have every right to be happy. You deserve to be happy in life. We are here for you. And we love you.
Hi friend,
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It seems like there is immense pressure on you. One suggestion I have is to maybe try and research other career paths and see if there is something else you would want to do. That way, if you have a clear plan of what else you want to pursue other than med, maybe your parents would be a bit more understanding. I understand you want to please your parents, and you are stuck in a really difficult spot. However, at the end of the day, this is your life. You are the one that is going to be going to this job every single day for decades to come. Therefore, I encourage you to think about yourself and be a bit selfish in this area of your life. I hope it all works out for you, I’m rooting for you.
- Star
Hi,
Im sorry you’ve had to go through this. This is a lot to experience for a single person. Your ability to keep going with everything going on in your life is admirable. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. Tough times never last, but tough people do! You deserve happiness and I have no doubt that you will work hard enough to eventually see it one day.
-SM
hey slyy, i’m proud of you for evaluating your life paths this early on before getting too deep into things. with what you’ve shared in this post, your decision to pursue a med career was mainly because of your parents. especially with their experiences both societally and financially, it’s common for parents to look to their children becoming medical professionals to set them up for more success than they had. however, you aren’t happy in this career and that alone should be enough for them to support a new path. and with what you said about “doing something irreversible,” your safety and well-being is the priority. would you find it beneficial to have a transparent conversation with them about how this career makes you feel? i hope you can discover where your passions are to find the career path you fully want to pursue! wishing you all the best in your journey and hope to hear how you’re doing soon. you got this!!
love,
twix
Hello!
It is an immense amount of pressure on your shoulders and I am sorry you feel lost and overwhelmed but it will get better. I understand that your parents love you and might believe that med is the best path for you but if you feel it is not right you could do some research about other paths in different areas and find one that fits what you want and also can make your parents or mother not stress about your future. Seeking professional help and an outside professional point of view on your situation can help you find a way to get out of this situation and do something you like.
Please take care of yourself and reach out whenever you need help
- Domenica