I really dont know yet what to make of this. I got a call from my sister Saturday evening she was hysterical and finally after a little while of hounding her she finally told me that my 23 year old nephew was dead. I dont know what to say to her at that point. So today I was skimming facebook and my suspicions were right he oded. It’s as if I cant feel anything. I should be sad, heartbroken, or angry but nothing. It’s as if all of my emotions are being sucked into a big black hole. My husband kept asking me yesterday if I was ok I just kept telling him I was fine knowing I obviously wasn’t I always try to be tough bury it all and keep moving forward. I struggle with depression myself and I have been doing good for about 6 months and I’m fighting real hard to keep myself together. Just needed to vent.
I understand how you feel. I’ve been there 
I have came to a realization that when I can’t feel anything or feel my emotions, I am probably not safe enough to let them out. I commend you for your ability to pull yourself together to write a paragraph about this, it must be difficult. I suggest you to go to a safe place, wherever that is, or whatever that looks like for you, so you can cry or feel how you feel. ITS OKAY TO FEEL HOW YOU FEEL, YOUR EMOTIONS ARE VALID, ITS OKAY TO FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS. Keep fighting, stay strong 
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Im very sorry for your loss. I can definitely relate with the feeling of numbness after my dad died two years ago.
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