That’s the thing, they might want me in their lives, but do I want them in mine? I struggle with feelings and shit, and I don’t want to try and explain what can’t be explained, so I kinda just give up and isolate myself a lot. It’s hard explaining anything, so I just don’t. I grew up in a way where I wasn’t able to ta;lk about that stuff, so if I think I might, I leave.
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The thing is, mental health issues can be a consequence of physical issues. Maybe your parents don’t understand how bad you are feeling. Please do your best to let them know. If your doctor determines that you are okay physically, they can provide a mental health referral.
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My dad and step-mother don’t care, that’s the thing. I grew up kinda neglected, you could say? I’ve been more independent than a lot of people. I’m just trying to get by, honestly, I don’t care about solving my issues, I care about what my plans are in the future. I have actually been diagnosed with a couple things, but I only know 2 things because my step-mother and dad didn’t tell me what I had. I found out I had Server Depression and some sort of Anxiety. It was an accident that I was diagnosed in the first place, and after I got into biggg trouble.
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You aren’t alone. Many struggle to understand themselves and at the same time, have difficulty expressing what they feel. It’s a learning process. You’ll become better at it as time goes on. What kind of person would you want in your life? You may be surprised at how flexible you can be.
In a way I kinda enjoy it, it keeps me from feeling hurt or anything when someone leaves. I matured early, like, 6-7. So I kinda lost myself along the way and question the reason for life. I don’t care what kind of person I have in my life. I don’t know what I want, to be honest. Um, I just want someone who is here, who’s not just here and there. Does that make sense?
Sounds a bit like my past. The school counselor finally took me to a doctor because my parents wouldn’t. You mentioned having been diagnosed. When/how did that happen? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m just wondering if you can make contact again with whoever made the diagnosis.
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Um well, long story short. I tried to kill myself, got sent to a mental hospital and then boom! I got diagnosed with some shit! It was, like, a 2 week thing and I half assed it, I tried to cut my arms and gave up, plus it wasn’t even that deep. I dunno, I regret it, the giving up part. Next time there won’t be any giving up or light cuts. If, there’s a next time.
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Well, I hope you can manage your situation long enough to become independent, and obtain the mental health assistance you need. Please don’t doubt your own resilience and ability to survive until your circumstances improve. I suffered for a lot of years, but I’m glad I stuck around until my life got better.
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I don’t know if I want to stick around until life gets better, that’s what scares me. I have a little over 2 more years till I’m out! I’ve survived all these years, I don’t think I want to give up just yet! I want to write a book about my life when I’m older, I want to be a kind of voice for others in similar situations. I never had someone to look up to, so I want to be able to tell people how hard it can be to go through life like this.