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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Let You Down by NF
OK I normally dont do this… but here goes… I let everyone down especially myself… and now I had to give up trying to work a job, and that is the biggest failure I have felt in my life… I am at my ropes end…
Hang in there, friend! It sounds you’re having a rough time. Sending some love your way.
Satty
Thank you so much for taking the time to open up. I know how hard it can be to bear your heart and talk about your struggles, but I am so happy that you have found the ability to do so. Relationships can do so much to lead to healing and I am so glad that you are reaching out to facilitate connection. I’m so proud of you.
The feeling of failure is devastating. I can relate to you so much on this. You put all you are into something, you focus your energy as much as you can into something that you care about, all for it to go up in smoke. You’re left feeling like everything you put into that effort was wasted and that you are not enough. It leaves you wondering what you could have done more or why you aren’t good enough. I relate to those feelings and my heart goes out to you- that is such a devastating state to be in.
I want you to know that just because you fail does not mean that you are a failure. Failure is part of the human condition, and there has never been a single person to exist that has not failed over and over again in their life. That doesn’t mean failure hurts any less, but it does mean that you are not alone in your struggles. You still have worth, your life still has value, and you still matter. You still have the chance every single day to impact someone’s life for the better, no matter if you are working a job or not. You still have the opportunity to make the world a better place simply by being the wonderful and unique person you are. There is only one of you, and I pray that you know how much your unique self matters.
While the struggle is still real, I know it will not last forever. There are so many others who are also in your shoes right now and I encourage you to continue reaching out and being open about your struggles just as you have been here today, because relationship fosters growth, and I know that growth is not just possible for you, but assured.
You are so loved and we at HeartSupport are always here for you if you are in need of more help. Holdfast- we believe in you.
I hear your disappointment at this “failure.” It is so rough when we cant meet the expectations of others or ourselves. We attach so much meaning and identity to productivity, career sucess, and job status.
However, you are more than what you do, achieve, or produce. Your identity is beyond this current set back. If you learn from it it could be a great chance for growth. Sometimes we need to manage our expectations and instead of forcing ourselves into things that dont work, we can reasses, meet ourselves where we’re at, and create realistic goals. A realistic goal may appear to be the tiniest baby step known to man, but a baby step is still a step.
What’s important to hold onto is that no one ever got where they wanted to go by heaping more shame on themselves. When the voices in your head get loud, what can quiet them is that inner confidence that you are trying your best. We are all human and we all let others down sometimes, but piling more dirt on yourself with guilt and shame isnt going to help you climb out of the pit. However, step by step, little by little, you can overcome every obstacle. I hope you dont let that shame keep you from extending compassion and understanding to yourself now. Above all, dont give up!