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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Happy? by Mudvayne
Okay so this might not be up to par with the veterans listening to this song. But i see myself getting back to it over and over again because of feelings i have for my best friend and having endured and accepted multiple relationships she had where i obviously pulled back and accepted it. But i keep finding myself feeling the same way and it just gets worse everytime she’s out of a relationship. And i know it’s probably not mutual but i still keep hoping and putting myself in that position. I’m an idiot…
Man I feel you on this! I’ve gone through this multiple times before and wow it can be crushing. You see the hope in a future with her, but it’s not reciprocated. You have these deep, passionate feelings, but they are not reflected. And the worst part- you have to watch her give her feelings to other relationships. That is so painful and my heart goes out to you.
I’ve been in this exact circumstance before. After years of being best friends, we finally ended up getting together and it lasted so short. I wish I could go back and never start dating her in the first place, because all that it led to was pain and the feeling that she is now a stranger to me. I know there is no way to have that foresight, but man if I could have just had it then. Sometimes a friend can mean so much more than a partner. Maybe your situation is different and will end differently, but I just wanted to express one possible outcome.
While you currently find yourself in this season, I encourage you to try and widen your current perspective on the situation. If this relationship is truly meant to be it will come in time. You deserve a partner that reflects the love that you put out, and that person is out there even if that isn’t your best friend. Your love is out there, and though it may involve painful waiting that feels like forever, it will truly come in time. I pray that you find clarity in the midst of this situation and I know that you will inevitably find the love you deserve. You matter and you are worthy of love. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Oh friend. You’re not an idiot. Feelings are beyond our control, as whether or not we love someone. Sometimes it doesn’t align with reality… and it feels conflicting to find yourself in this in-between that doesn’t lead to where you’d wish to be. But you are not wrong for having feelings in the first place. You know the saying: "the heart has its reasons…, yet none of it would ever indicate anything about you. There are people whom I am not in contact with anymore, who hurt me deeply in the past, but I still love them. I can’t help feeling tenderness for them. And that’s not a fault. It’s just part of how complex human emotions can be sometimes.
i imagine how painful it is for you to navigate this uncertainty, this back and forth of emotions <> reason all the time. It’s really to feel like your entire being is divided between what is, and what it wishes could be. Exhausting even, to ride this roller-coaster all the time. You can have accepted a situation, yet still feel like your heart craves for more. It’s like somehow it’s following a different pace. It needs more time. And it’s okay to give yourself that time, friend. You are not at fault for being human - on the contrary. Thank you so much for sharing about all of this here.
