It’s getting worse. I can feel myself spiraling at night. Like right now, as I’m writing this, I’m slowly spiraling. I don’t want to tell my friends though because they all have things going on and I don’t want to worry them. I don’t want to worry them. I don’t want them to focus on me when we have finals to study for, final papers to write, and themselves to worry about. But I feel like I just don’t matter. I feel like I’m not important. I feel…I feel like I’m not worth the time and effort. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to be sad all the time. I don’t want to have the constant harmful thoughts, but they keep getting louder. I don’t understand and I want to understand. I just want to be okay and recently I have consistently NOT felt okay. The last time it got this bad this fast I started to self-harm. And honestly…that isn’t sounding like such a bad idea right now. The thought isn’t prodding at my brain constantly so I’m not in danger. However, it’s in the back of my mind as a final option. I don’t want to. but I feel like it’s the only other option I have besides keeping it inside all the time. neither of these are healthy options and I know that. But it’s what I know to do when the bad comes at me fast. I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m so mentally exhausted.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. The truth is, those are feelings, but not reality.
You are important.
You do matter.
You are worthy of love.
If you don’t want to discuss these feelings with your friends, find someone qualified to help you.
That’s why it’s very important for you to seek help. There are other ways to cope with the challenges you are facing.
That happens when you keep trying to figure out something on your own, when you really do need help.
Please check back with us and let us know how you’re doing.
Remember why you stopped self harming.
Remember that the SH is part of these feelings and thoughts of unworthiness. It doesn’t make you feel better, it’s actually a tool that promotes negative self thought, because the initial release is followed by so much regret and shame, etc.
You are so caring and loving towards your friends that you don’t want to hurt them or distract them. Exams and finals times are peak times for anxiety and stress. Do you have a school counselor or academic advisor you talk to about this?
Just know that life is not based on one set of results. A life of accomplishments is long and rich, and exams and projects are just a tiny part of it.
We care about you, and you’re awesome!
Make sure you’re resting, sleeping, eating properly to help our your brain as well.
Cheering for you, friend. you got this.
I can relate to everything that you told. Honestly, I don’t really know what to tell you because I don’t even know what to do for myself. But what I can surely tell you is that you are not alone in this situation. I am also on a finals period and honestly I can understand all of these feelings.
Keep fighting and remember all the things you got through because you did even if you didn’t believe in achieving these things. Remember how hard you fight to stop harming yourself. We are all proud of you. You get do it
Hey @FaeTheProud,
I believe in you. Still and always.
You can make it through the lies, fears and dark thoughts. They don’t own you. They don’t deserve you. This world is better with you in it.
Rest as much as you need, friend. Try to focus on things you enjoy and what soothes you. This is yet another wave to ride. You will be okay. 
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