Today was my last day at school I been working at. Moving to new position in the high school. My boss told me to take it easy today and not over work.
This kid I work with , has been bossing me around and been busting my balls lately. He ten years younger than me and he treat me like his bitch.
He told to move stuff from the gym into class rooms. However, I told my boss about abs he told me not yo worry. Before I left, I hid some mop busket in room where you need a key to get in. And I also left him a note saying “I did not wax the coat in the room and don’t forget the stuff in the gym”
Later I got paranoid, cuase what if this kid has meltdown and try to get me fired. Then had violent fansty if anything that could happen. I would beat the shit of him.
I feel like I sort of do this as well, more in the form of words, or I suppose occasionally actions, one time at work a whole shift left my crew extra work, so when we passed the process back to them I left all of the computer interfaces with the language changed to Chinese. Later I got paranoid about being reported.
I think that a lot of the anger comes from a place of self love. We realize that we’re not being treated the way we deserve to be treated, and that causes us to act out, then the paranoia comes from us maybe realizing that that persons life is equally as complex as ours and we mistreated them in return. Then the anger builds at the thought they are going to mistreat us again for simply giving ourselves some sort of justification.
The fact that you’re here and sharing it from my perspective means you also recognize that the patterns aren’t healthy in some capacity of your own. You are learning, growing, and working on your heart and it’s a massive project. Hold on, process, and grow! Also recognize and remind yourself that you’re not alone, and you can’t change how people treat you, only how you react to their actions.