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Paranoid about job again

For past couple day I did something really stupid. This cocky college prick that was a co worker, was bidding me around treat me like an idiot. I did other to help him to move stuff out of the gym. But he wanted me to do a later. The issue was that my boss told that could go home earlier ( it was my last in the building before moving to a different building.) also he want to make this older guy do it, however in his 60’s.

10 Minutes later, I said well I can do it now then get the rest my work done. But he still said no and all these jocky cunts give me a stupid look.

I was fucking pissed, I had to chill in my room to calm myself down. So I did the rest my work and double my boss about situations. He told not to worry about it. In addition, I left acouple sarcastic notes. One then to remind to get the stuff in the gym.

My sister told call my boss back, I did do a drawing of a poop majo and it said “Shit Happen”. But I think my boss well manger took it down, cuase I told him about. He was not mad and actually though it was funny.

But I’m nervous, cause I’m getting hire full time, but this kid has meltdown cause note I left him. He trying tell the higher up about and try to get me fired.

I left my fucking ego get to me, I should just walk away and been an adult. However, I fuck up as usually so miss a chance of life time. I’m not smart and I don’t any mthing else to fall back. It’s could my relationship with my family and could be homeless.

I thought of murdering this kid, like running him over with my car or torched him to death, if he dares try to make me lose my job. I hate these feelings and thoughts. I hate that I’m fucking weak boy, that should just walk away.

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I feel you, I get paranoid about my job all the time, and ecspecially school. But if someone is stressed about something you’re most likely not the only one. I thought I was alone in my school stress and it turns out the whole school is going through a mental break. Also people are assholes, but don’t take it personally. Just like you said, shit happens. But then it goes away and it won’t happen again. Just make sure to give yourself a break every once in a while. Ik that can be hard but try to find some time.in your day to have a short break and treasurer it.
Hope you are feeling better today, remember, sleep always helps.
-X

Hey Metalskater ,
I also hear you and get this all the time at my work lately . I am actually looking to move on with a transfer so perhaps if you feel like it gets to much , I’m sure you can work in a different gym .
Saying that I think if you try again to be the adult the way you wish you had…try again and talk to this person and see whats going on and explain your side…listen to their side it might help things. Even if you think about killing this kid, it’s best to talk things out and in turn can make those kind of thoughts become less/quieter.
For example. I really can’t stand my coworker . They are a vial human being. However there are reasons as to why they are like this. Overtime , asking them questions and talking things out , I have got to know what these reasons are and it makes me calmer about the fact they are so god dam mean. I still don’t like them and that’s ok , we don’t have to like all coworkers , but it has helped me .
I also talked to them with a boss present , to keep things from getting out of hand.
If you boss is ok with you , just let them also know how you feel about everything that happened , say sorry and this can help protect you job as well.
Good luck , I hope it all goes well for you :relaxed:

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