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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to People=Shit by Slipknot
People do equal shit. I know. I am one.
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Sometimes, people certainly do feel like shit. Sometimes we feel like we’re shit. And that’s such a difficult state to be in. It’s really hard when we feel bad about ourselves, and we’re here for you if you’d like to share any more about what’s going on.
I’m wishing you all the best.
-Tuna
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Yea, sometimes people suck big time. I guess it’s the lot of being human beings - we are complex by nature, and there’s something both surprising and risky when it comes to connecting, trusting and loving others. It can bring out the most beautiful experiences possible as well as the most hurtful ones. Sometimes the promise of beauty and love doesn’t feel worth the risk anymore, for there’s been too much disappointment over time.
I have no doubt that there is a lot of beauty in you, but I also hear you out and understand, from my own journey, how it feels to see yourself as the worst person on earth. That you’d be utterly worthless and there would be nothing good enough to keep in the end. That you’d be a pile of waste better left alone, retreated from the rest of the world and out of sight. It’s hard to meet ourselves with love when it feels like there’s nothing worth loving in us in the first place. It’s like looking at your reflection on a mirror and wondering what the fuck you’re looking at. It feels ugly, messy and simply hard to look at.
If you would like to share more about what makes you feel this way, or even just how you perceive yourself, please feel welcome to share it here. It’s a safe space, and I would personally love to understand and get to know you more. If anything, I’ve felt the way you do for a good chunk of my life and still battle the self-deprecating thoughts daily. At some point it feels like it’s just better to surrender to the idea that you’d be a piece of shit because at least it doesn’t cost as much energy. It feels more familiar, more right somehow, if not safer. Like building our very own self-fulfilling prophecy. If I embrace my worthless nature, then I can’t set myself for more disappointment or hurt. I’ll be deep down already.
Something that I found particularly helpful over time though, is to not take these thoughts for granted, and instead to learn to welcome the idea of digging deeper into them. Just because when you do it in the presence of safe allies, these allies can help bring a new perspective over your own perception. When someone isn’t holding our own burdens, they have the possibility to see us with more clarity than we do, outside of all the pain we’re feeling inside and of the wounds we’ve been carrying, sometimes for such a long time. For the way we feel is always valid, while sometimes the way we think, the conclusions we get from those feelings, is more the expression of our pain, rather than of an absolute truth. It’s a way to explore other perspectives, even when they feel absolutely unnatural or uncomfortable.
Hold fast, friend. 