Please help. I can't do this anymore

Staff Edit from @NateTriesAgain:

50%20AM

You’re not crazy if you feel like everyone would be better off without you. If you landed here from Google, I want you to know you’re not alone. Please consider sharing what’s on your heart by creating a topic anonymously and allowing others to listen to and encourage you.

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Hello. Idk if I’m doing this right…but I really need someone right now…
I’m a 28 year old female, and my life has been completely shattered. I hate everything about my life right now, and I hate myself because I know this is all my fault. I feel like I deserve to feel this constant pain. I feel completely empty, but at the same time like there’s an anchor tied to my heart, violently pulling me down…down, into the earth and below. Like I’m drowning, and my eyes feel like they are on the verge of wheeling over at any/every given moment.
Tonight I couldn’t take it anymore, I cant take it anymore. I’ve been depressed before, and this ain’t that…I’ve never felt like this before, and I feel pathetic. I’ve tried SO hard, but i still cant shake the feeling of KNOWING that everyone i love would be better off in the long run if i were to die. I know they would be hurt, and be sad, but the burden that i am to them would be lifted, and they could finally have a good life.
Please help me…please.

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Hey @Rae418,

Thank you for being here. :heart:

The feelings that you have right now, the words you use about yourself, your life, are really heavy and I’m truly sorry you’ve been feeling like this. I hear you, your pain, your exhaustion. My heart goes to you. You are not alone, okay?

This heaviness that you’re feeling is leading you to the wrong conclusions. No, you don’t deserve to feel that constant pain. No, this world wouldn’t be better without you. You’re not pathetic either. You’re a human being who is having a rough time.

But the sun will rise again, friend. There is still hope, still an other day beginning after that, with all of its possibilities to feel differently, to live differently. You have breath in your lungs right now. You’re alive. You’re existing. This is what gives you the power and the possibility to get better experiences, to feel better.

You said you hate everything about your life right now and that everything is your fault. Do you want to share about the things you hate about your life? And why do you think this is your fault? No pressure to respond if you don’t want to. Just know that it’s a possibility and we care about you here.

Hang in there. Sending so much love to you. :heart:

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You deserve to be here. You have air in your lungs, that’s all we need to make that fact.

I don’t know you, but I love you. You are human. You deserve love.

The people you know, friends and family, would not be better off without you.

You are the only you there will ever be, and that is a reason to stay. This world needs your presence.

Keep reaching out, I’m proud of you. We are all here for you.

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Hey Rae,

Sounds like you have some hard stuff going on right now. You say that things have been shattered and that you hate everything about your life. That it is your fault. Do you want to talk a little bit about why you are feeling this way? What is causing you to put so much guilt on yourself? It sounds like you are being really really hard on yourself.

Friend, nobody is better off with you not being here. That isn’t true at all. Right now things are feeling really intense, overwhelming and painful but that doesn’t mean that you arent worth loving and being here. We are all human and we all make mistakes. You know? I don’t know what exactly happened that made you feel this way but we are open to you. We are listening. Lets talk about it. What’s going on my friend?

You are NOT a burden. You matter. You are important.

Your feelings matter. What you are going through matters.

Lets talk.

  • Kitty
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