I’m having a huge mental break down right now and have no idea what to do. So I was just diagnosed with Hypermobility, Dysautonomia, and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. I chose to take two classes this block: Abnormal Psychology and Sociology. I was so excited about taking both. My mom suggested that I take one class due to me having to start treatments and not knowing what the outcome of the treatments would be. My therapist also agreed as well. I prayed and prayed about it and I asked two ladies that I look up to at my church and they said the same thing. Also one of my professors that I’m close with, my best friend and a coworker that I’m also close to. I also spoke to an advisor, but she said it would be up to me. I decided that taking one class would probably be the best decision. I didn’t know which class to keep. My mom said which ever class is easiest to keep it. My advisor said that between the two classes, the Sociology course would be the less overwhelming course since it’s an intro course and the Abnormal Psych class is higher level course. I spoke to the professor that I’m close with and she said don’t worry about taking the Abnormal Psych class. Take the Sociology because it’ll be less on you and you don’t need to be stressing out when trying to deal with these treatments. My coworker also said the same exact thing. And my best friend did too. The one lady from my church also agreed. The other lady from my church said that I should take whatever class interested me the most. Since a majority of people said to take the Sociology and it was a bunch of people that would never led me astray I decided to drop the other course. I’ve also always known that if a majority of people (wise, credible, mature people) in your life all tell you the same thing after you have been praying to God for guidance, he uses those people to speak to you. So I decided that this was the course God wanted me to take. I’m now having a mental break down because I feel like I made the wrong choice. My mom keeps trying to tell me that I haven’t because a majority of people that I’ve talked to has said to take this certain course. I don’t know if it’s just my anxiety or whatever. But I keep freaking out that I chose the wrong class and should have chosen the other one. My mom keeps telling me I made the right decision because the other class would have overwhelmed me and she said “Alena you have talked to many people and they have all said the same thing about what course to take. Trust what these people have said to you. Don’t second guess yourself.” But it’s like this feeling won’t go away and I’m freaking out.
I totally get this…to feel like you’ve made an irreversible mistake, and you can’t take it back, and now you’re trapped in a reality you regret…like your life will never be the same as a result. It’s a brutal feeling.
One thing I have been practicing is believing instead of feeling.
My mentor told me that feeling follows our beliefs, and that if we choose to believe something, eventually our feelings will follow. The truth is that you can choose to believe that this was the right choice. What other choice would you have made? Would you go back and make a decision against all of the people in your life? Against all of the wisdom you’ve put in place to guide you? Would you go against self-kindness? Trying to choose something that won’t overwhelm you? Making the best decision you could in the moment to look out for yourself during a difficult season?
It sounds like you made the right choice, and now it’s not about what choice you did or didn’t make, it’s about what story you’re telling yourself. Right now you’re telling yourself the story you’re going to terribly regret this choice. Tell yourself a different one! BELIEVE that God helped you through your prayers and your community. BELIEVE that you are choosing self-kindness. BELIEVE that you made the best decision you could in the moment and release yourself from any other expectation you could have placed on yourself in retrospect.