First, #YouAreNotAlone and #YouAreLoved .
Thank you for reaching out and giving us, your community (and myself) the ability to reach out and offer you help and strength in your time of need. I like you, have the same situation often. Where I can openly share things, but the lies I tell myself that I will be burdening, already burdened people.
Also, like you I find solace and purpose in being a supportive member of a (any) community, where I feel my value just being there and lending what I’m able to; to help others.
I really am very sorry for your recent struggles, I know what they are like.If I’ve been committed to anything in my life, it’s self destructive when things seem to be going well. It’s almost like I can’t live without some form of chaos in my life, because that’s what was normal for so long, and I seek/find comfort tin that situation for whatever twisted psychological reasoning.
I recently too, went off of my Zoloft to really see if it was the medication ceasing to work, or my inability of regularly taking them like I should occasionally.
I know when I spend a lot of time alone, I get a little bit too much into my head. Which can really be a bad spiral in depression,and negative self thoughts. Then forcing me wanting to isolate, starting a depressive cycle, pushing others away.
I’m proud of you. On many levels; for opening up, for reaching out, and for some really great self reflection on things. You may not know me very well, but I offer a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or arms to wrap around you for a loving hug. Even the strongest, sometimes stumble and fall. A helping hand up can mean more than anything when you feel you can use one. Weakness isn’t asking for help, it’s refusing there is a problem.
Truths I see in you.
You are kind, You are Loving, You are Caring, You are Thoughtful, You are Strong, You are Inspiring, and you ARE LOVED.
Message me on here, or on Discord. I’m here for you to listen and work through this friend.
I understand that you have fought so much. You are fighting out of a dark place and you have gone back to dangerous comforts. Knowing this I still see you as an amazing person and something to look up to. So many can’t open up the way you had. Once you are out of this dark moment you can take that as help people with that you learned while there. You also need to open up with your partner, tell him or just get rid of them. You know what you need to do to get better. You need to take those steps.
Those steps you can share later. You are not weak, you are not a burden to us. We love you and we are happy you shared. I know how you would support someone who came to you with similar feelings. Strength isn’t becoming rigid and taking the beating, it’s bending but coming back with the knowledge to change your life for the better.
Thank you for opening up like that. We’ve spoken a little bit outside of streams and you’ve told me a few very personal things, which is amazing. Man, that day I wasn’t able to get hold of the people in my support group, you were there with me. It was the same with me when I first came to the community. I was that person who wanted to be a pillar in the community, not someone who NEEDED that pillar. Does that make sense? I was replying to every single support wall topic created. I mean, I have more than 4k topics read and nearly 500 posts created - most of that all came in one go, but behind all of that I was falling apart. Only a small group of people saw that side of me tho… Everyone else just saw all of those above numbers. It was like, I was doing all this stuff on the support wall and in real talk… Yet, behind the scenes, I was crying and screaming at you and Casey about wanting to die and getting high constantly. It took me a long time, but I found that you don’t have to be on the wall all the time, or in the discord constantly to support the community. Just by helping a few people, you could be helping so many more people, because that person you helped lift up, will be able to go and do the same thing, and so on. It’s like… I reach out to Dan when I need help, and he helps me back up to a safe place, so I can then go and help someone who has messaged me needing help. Disabilites don’t make you useless, it just means that you’ve learnt to do life in a different way and your strengths are in other areas.
I love you. You’re amazing.
@anon17277947 We love you. Hold Fast
Thank you so much for this. I am still so emotionally overwhelmed by all of the love and support that everyone shared today. When I saw the topic, I wanted to run and hide…and honestly, I did for a while. But I am SO grateful to all of you. I really needed to hear all of these things today. I am a perfect stranger yet here you guys are. I love you guys. We are still getting to know each other, but each and every one of you are wonderful and I hope that I can bring you guys the same kind of support you have offered me.
Thank you, Lady. You are such an incredible and positive force in this community. I appreciate you taking time to be so encouraging and offer gentle guidance. I’m sorry that I didn’t know how to express appreciation in the moment. But this really means a lot.
Kayla, you are such a shining force. You are an example of strength. And you are a gentle, kind and very loving friend. You have been a friend from the moment I stepped into the stream even though you know very little about me. You’ve reached out to me on discord and have checked on me. You’ve shared private things and allowed me to be a part of you and how you are feeling. And that means so much more than you know.
Thank you to you, Dan and everyone else who offered so much love to me today. I feel bad that I didn’t know how to be active in the moment and more responsive. It was so overwhelming. But I was listening. And I heard everything you guys said. And I will try my hardest to absorb it and remember it. Thank you for accepting me for all that I am. For my strengths and my flaws. And for being there to gently remind me of the things I don’t always know how to know or remember in the moment of feeling so low.
I love you, friend.
I don’t even know how to respond to everything that you said in stream today. But I appreciate it. I want to say that I am not deserving of this art or all of the time spent just responding to this post, but I’m not going to. Its hard not to. But I really appreciate you and everyone believing in me when I don’t know how. For encouraging me and telling me that I am not useless and worthless. For not judging me for flaws and slip ups. I am learning to be more open to others. And I am learning how to be more vulnerable. Its very hard. By nature I want to be strong for everyone. But I know that I also need to practice being more gentle with myself. It’s very hard. Heart Support has really been a huge help lately. It has given me a safe place to look forward to being in. It has given me a place to grow and learn. To offer love and support for others but also to receive it. It has given be motivation and inspiration that hasnt been easy to find. And I appreciate that even though you dont know me, you take the time and effort to remember me, to check in on me and encourage me.
Thank you for all that you do. And I’m sorry I didnt know how to be more responsive in stream. It wasnt due to a lack of appreciation. It all just came so unexpectedly. This community means a lot to me. I hope that I can repay and return to you guys the love you have given to me.
Hang in there. You might be in a place you don’t want to be in right now, but you will ascend. This community is here with you and for you. Thank you for being honest.