Grew up in a family with drugs, alcohol, abuse, etc. Took years and years of trying to separate myself from my family situation to finally get in a good space with boundaries. Now when I’ve finally got to that place and it’s time to focus on my own life, I can’t. The depression and anxiety is the worst I’ve ever faced.I have severe major depressive disorder & generalized anxiety disorder. I’ve never felt more crippled. My mind is always cloudy. My thoughts are always forgotten and foggy. I have had focus issues my whole life and have such limitations on how I learn and understand things. I have had jobs that have crippled me with abusive managers, and terrible work environments. I’m currently unemployed, too scared to take a risk and work again. The depression and anxiety takes over when I think about trying to work. So I’m currently unemployed, depressed beyond what words can describe, and I feel like I’m letting everyone important in my life down. I’m working on all these things in therapy and taking steps to try and be more positive, but most days it feels like I get nowhere and that I’m just going to die this way. Sometimes I think I belong in an institution because I can’t handle life. I just feel lost and like I don’t belong here. Like God made a mistake when he made me, and that I’m not cut out to survive here.
I don’t believe that god made your a mistake. Don’t think it believe that god put people on earth to fail, that mess up thinking getting to your head. General anxiety can have huge impact on work. It good your got rid toxic out your life. It might not be a bad idea to go to day program or study DBT therapy. You can try find DBT class or look up video on DBT. Stay strong man.
Hi @Luke,
Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry that you are in a place of depression and anxiety. It sounds to me like you have been through a lot with home and work life, but I am so glad you are here.
I do want to address the feeling that you are a mistake, that God made a mistake when he made you. That is a lie!! A big one. I believe God made you for a reason and a purpose. I believe God loves you as you are and where you are. Have you read Psalm 139? It’s one of my favorites.
Thank you again for sharing.
Megs
Hi Veruca,
The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post - please view it here.
Thank you for sharing on the Wall, and we’ll be monitoring this post for your response.
Hold Fast friend!
- John, Morgan, Demetrius, Erin, Jessica, Annie, Abby, and Sarah
Hello all!
Thank you so much for your responses. Wow, I’m so overwhelmed and thankful for them. I can’t believe how helpful that was. So, my name is actually Luke LOL. Veruca is a name I use as certain usernames so I put that down in case I was hesitant to continue using this resource. I see myself continuing this because I am blown away at how helpful this was. Thank you all so so much.
-Luke
Hey Luke,
An additional thank you for trusting us with your real name - we won’t take it for granted! I encourage you to get involved in our community and reach out when you need.
Thank you
There are some videos on YouTube on complex PTSD.
PTSD refers to people who’ve experienced traumatic events. CPTSD refers to people who’ve grown up in trauma, and how that trauma affects their lives.
For me, this was The most powerful information I ever received. I watched video after video often crying through them. I felt like they were talking about me, like they’d watched my life.
There is a lot that happens when we’re young and developing, to live in trauma while developing has consequences with mental processes that last a lifetime. Its great you’re getting help. Know that you are NOT ALONE.
I’d encourage you and anyone else who’s grown up in an abusive family to watch the videos. The guy is a minister, who’s worked in recovery programs, I believe in Canada, but there is not a lot of ‘religion’ in it, he says a prayer at the end of each video as I recall. But if you have no issues with religious overtones, I think you’ll find them worthwhile.
I don’t believe God makes mistakes, but I know people do. You belong. 
Hey Luke!
I’m Sarah!! I was in the video! I’m so happy you saw these responses and were encouraged by them! How are you feeling now?
I’d love to hear more updates.
Sarah K
Hi Sarah! Thank you again so much for your and the others video. I was blown away. I am doing okay. Truly after the video and other responses, I noticed myself having a better week. It’s obviously going to be a constant struggle of living with my depression & anxiety, but there is also hope on the struggle and you all helped remind me of that. It truly helps knowing I’m not alone and having others that can relate to me in their struggles. Thank you for telling me that I’m doing a good job, even though I don’t feel like it most days. I tend to be an all or nothing type person so I need to remember that a little progress is good. It doesn’t all have to come at once. Thank you again so much.
So happy to hear that!! You got this! And if things get hard again, hit us back up
This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.