I’m so mad at myself. All of the progress I’ve made, every bit of it I erased in one night. Every single milestone I’ve reached. Eating habits, self harm, panic attacks. I was doing so good. And it was for the most pathetic reason too. I’m so weak.
You are not weak. You just need to readjust. One night didn’t end your progress use this moment to get back on track and figure out where you need to build up, and what you need to get rid of.
Your progress is not erased! Unfortunately, healing is not a linear process, and creating new habits is like a rollercoaster sometimes, with ups and downs. I know it’s really defeating when it feels like we’re moving backwards, but you can’t fail as long as you try. It’s a process with many steps, bumps on the road as well, times when we slow down, when we learn and try differently. Your past efforts are still with you, and this moment right now will be an opportunity to learn, also to understand yourself a little more.
You are not defeated, friend. Be gentle with yourself, as much as possible.
I wonder how long you’ve made it before this… “I’m so made at myself”
All the days you’ve done well, are … what? Have they lost value to you?
That can’t be true. You’ve worked hard, and shown progress. Think of your progress, not your failure. We’re all just trying to do our best, YOU TOO! and we screw up, it’s part of the process of learning and growing.
Everyday is not the same, some are harder, some are much harder, but part of healing is growing stronger to face those days. It’s a journey, a pathway we take that is NOT easy. You have lost nothing, all that you have achieved is still with you, it has gone NO where. So many things can trigger us, and those triggers, some we’re not even aware of, can take us right back to what seems like the ‘beginning’ but that is simply NOT possible, we can Never go back, we are always moving toward the future, and we take what we learn with us. We must have patience and give ourselves the nurturing love we’d give to any other human being in pain on a healing path. Peace.