I’ll keep this short. I have no idea why, but I’m randomly getting suicidal thoughts and major depression. All of it is about my family and whether or not im a burden to them.
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You aren’t a burden. You are a responsibility, that your parents freely chose to have. Even if they feel differently, which I doubt they do, they owe you decent parenting and nurturing.
Regarding suicidal thoughts and major depression, get some help. You can ask your primary doctor for a referral. If affording it is a problem, call 211, and find out where counseling is available for people with little or no money.
I suspect there are some underlying issues that are troubling you. When you talk things out with someone, it often helps the issues become more clear, and manageable.
Stay in touch. I’d like to know how you’re doing.
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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Rezu, I’m sorry that your family has made you believe you’re a burden. You’re not, nobody is. Remember that thoughts are just thoughts and not something you have to act on. If you have an adult in your life that you do trust, maybe you can confide in them? ~Mystrose
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From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, thank you for your post, I am sorry you are feeling like this, Depression is cruel and friend you are not a burden on anyone and if you feel like you are putting to much on your family you are free to post here and talk to us if you go to our discord channel we have lots of resourses that you can access and we have a twitch channel too where you can come and join in a stream and talk to people, you do not have to be on your own. Saying that I want to say again that I do not think for a moment that you are a burden on your family, I am sure that you are a loved and valued member of your family and you are here too. Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. I will put the discord and twitch links below. x
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From: Mamadien
Rezu, I’m glad you posted about how you are feeling. It’s hard to tell yourself that you aren’t a burden when your thoughts tell you that you are. Can I suggest that you are not your thoughts? Do you have a counselor or therapist to talk to? If not, is there someone you trust that you can reach out to so that you can get some help with how you are feeling? You are always welcome to tell us more here, we will listen and care, it just helps if we know more. Remember that if things get really bad you can always reach out for !crisis resources on discord.
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I have spoken to my therapist about this, but the thoughts just keep coming back, and I don’t know what to do anymore
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Hey @Rezu,
I know it’s been a while that you’ve posted, but I wanted to check in on things with you. It’s really good that you’ve shared about these thoughts to your therapist. May I ask how they responded to you? Are they currently helping you develop some ways to cope, or even identify the causes behind these thoughts?
If you find yourself in a dark place, please don’t hesitate to use crisis helplines/chats of your country as well. It’s so important to not stay alone with our thoughts during those times. Here’s a list of helplines that you can use at your own convenience, anytime:
You are loved. 
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They have responded well, although I haven’t came up with many ways to cope. I found that what calms me down is YouTube and playing games. My father says I should figure out some internal coping skills, but in any case these dark thoughts hasn’t came over me in quite some time. Thank you for checking in
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Dear friend, however anrgy anyone is with you, no matter how hard it is to take care of you, NO MATTER WHAT, you are loved, you matter, you are worth it, and your very existance has changed the world for the better. Oftentimes my sister and I feel like we are only burdens to our parents. They struggle constantly to take care of us, to keep us fed, to get us medical care, to give us proper care for our disabilities, to understand me in my struggles with sensory procesing disorder and gender dysphoria, to help my sister when she has depression and suicidal thoughts and self harms, all of which cause problems for my parents every single day. But we are not just burdens. Because my mam and daddie insist that their struggles are worth it because we matter. And they do get anry at us. They lash out. They accidentally say things that make our depressi feelings worse. They accidentally make mistakes that hurt us for the rest of our lives. Your parents might have no virtue. They may have virtue like mine. But No matter what, you are not a mere burden. You have a soul. That soul might have lost feeling, might not feel like its there, but the soul is still in there. And that matters. You need to protect that soul. That soul is your self.
Keep holding on. 
- Pengyou
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