I post awareness on my Instagram. I post about rape and the affects of toxic masculinity and rape culture and the lack of mentioning that women rape too. But today when a boy argued with me to the point of harassing me about the “non-existence of rape culture,” I couldn’t help but think that denying the existence of rape culture is a part of rape culture itself. I’m not saying that it’s the singular culture of America, or even a big culture here. But I believe it’s an existent culture nonetheless. I read tonight that only 68% of assaults are reported. And out of those 68% only 6% of the assailants are imprisoned. That’s because there’s been a fear and a shame forced upon the victims of assault…I know this first hand when my rapist looked me in the eye and said, " You wanted it. I’ve heard about you, I know you wanted it." He saw nothing wrong with his actions and ignored my “no.” He was conditioned into a mindset that he could get what he wanted, and after he harassed me for being upset and belittled me to his friends, I discovered a handful of girls that claimed he hurt them too. And when I decided I needed to go to the police, they sent me to four different stations, each one titling my assault a different thing. “Rape,” “sexual assault,” “assault and battery,” “sexual battery.” It’s been months, and they’ve let him walk. The fact of the matter is that there is a right and wrong. But when people are conditioned to believe that they are deserving of whatever they want, and they take that at the expense of someone else then we have created a culture in which rape is already considered… acceptable. It’s further permitted when the police seem to help not at all, allowing 99% of rapists TO WALK FREE. Rape is NOT. NORMAL. Rape is NOT horny kids just being horny. Rape is about asserting dominance and control over another human being, and I will not stop trying to bring awareness to everyone that I can.
Thank you for your post. I’m sorry that you were raped; no one has the right to hurt you.
I keep hearing stuff on the news about women who accuse someone of rape. When it’s been years and years since the event occurred and then they finally report it, I often hear critics say “Why now? What changed? Are they trying to get attention- do they want to be famous or something?” It pisses me off. I keep trying to tell people that well, maybe they were scared to report the incident in the first place because they knew no one would listen or do anything about it. And now that they’ve built up the courage to speak up, that fear is coming true.
It is sad that [here in America] we live in a rape culture. It is sad that people feel entitled to just get whatever they want without consequences because they know they can get away with it. Rape has become normalized, but, as you said, rape is NOT normal.
Please continue to raise awareness about this subject matter; we must find our allies in this fight and hopefully someday change the world into a safer and more respectful place.
I am so sorry this happened to you and the way the system failed you. No one should ever have to experience this. It is amazing you have come to a place where you can use your story to bring awareness. I am also sorry to hear that someone does not see that rape culture exists and is very real and argued with you over it. You are doing something incredibly brave in bringing awareness and I hope at the very least, his eyes will be opened after your interaction.
I dont think we live in a culture where rape is acceptable, its abhorrent.
We live in a culture where some authorities dont give a shit and it makes the ones that do look bad.
When I reported I was assaulted by two girls my peers didn’t believe me and the school system didn’t care even though I had DNA evidence from where they spat on me.
I never bothered escalating it to the police due to threats from these people.
My problem with rape culture or at least how I see it, is that its blanket labeling people as potential rapists, poor reasoning like teach people not to rape, people know like most crimes rape is a crime telli ng a rapist not to rape is like asking a murderer not to murder.
Teach people to defend themselves.
Teach people that male/male and female/female rape happens and isn’t funny.
Stop taking away the means to defend themselves.
Thorough investigation of incidents.