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Really need a friend right now!

It’s starting to feel like the very few friends I have are starting to turn on me.

I understand I’ve made mistakes in the past, but surely I don’t deserve to be made to feel bad about them?

Especially when I make an effort everyday to become a better person than I was yesterday.

I know sometimes I can show to be a poor friend because I don’t message back a lot of the time, but I know I don’t deserve to be abandoned entirely.

I usually struggle with not having many people to turn to, but today feels much worse than the rest. It feels like my circle is getting smaller and smaller.

The majority of the people in my area are seriously bad for me, but how can I keep going knowing that all my friends and people that actually care about me, live so far away.

Sometimes, I feel like I don’t belong in this city and I welcome a drastic shift in my life someday soon.

I would really appreciate some community, or a close friend… The people surrounding me, are simply not good for my Mental Health.

I already feel like I had no true friends and now tonight has made that feel so much worse.

How do I go on with this?
I feel so empty and lonely.

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Man, I feel that way too a lot of the time…
The best thing I’ve done for myself in those moments is to recognize that A) I’m not alone. Everyone feels lonely, and people are busy. I can’t blame myself for that. B) The people that move on from what I have to offer are the ones missing out. I’m awesome, and if they’re not awesome enough to see it, good riddance… C) Your circle will continue to get smaller as you get older… I like to consider it a decent gauge of my maturity and growth.
Honestly, I was never a very social person; I always preferred to have a few solid friends around than a bunch of shallow friends…
BUT, I can definitely speak to the benefit of moving away from toxicity. Distancing yourself from that environment could be an incredible new start… I think it’s also prudent to mention that distance doesn’t have to define a friendship. I’ll be your friend from across the pond, mate. And I mean that.

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Hey @GreenEauanator,

I’m so very sorry that you were feeling that way when you posted this, and I hope you’ve been feeling a little better since then. A good thing to do when we feel left alone is to actually reach out, even if it’s really hard to do so. You can be proud of yourself for being vulnerable and sharing about what’s going on, because it’s very brave of you.

It sounds like your friends are resenting you for things that belong to the past. I don’t know if you and them had a conversation about this, and how much you are trying to change your own habits, but maybe it could be helpful to talk about it with them in times to come. You know, just to make sure that you’re all on the same page and can finally let go of past grievances.

If it can be of any comfort, I’m also this person who tends not to message back. Not because I don’t want to, but most of the time because I already have my own struggles to deal with and socializing takes a lot of energy. Past friends generally took that personally, as if I was mad at them or didn’t love them enough, and they turned on me progressively. It made and still makes me feel sometimes that I’m just made to be alone and misunderstood, but that’s just not true. Some people stay, and those are the ones who truly know me, enough to be patient when I’m not with myself.

It can be hard to find the right people. The ones who don’t need us to talk all the time to be understood. There’s a balance to find with people and through honest conversations though, but sometimes it also just doesn’t match, or not for an unlimited time.

You mentioned that the people surrounding you are not good for your mental health, and I think it’s a very important point that you shared. It’s painful to reconsider our relationships, but it can also be a pain that allows growth.

Based on what you shared, going on with this situation could be one of these options: talking with your friends about how you feel and see if there’s a possibility to build a common ground from now on, just because resenting you for something that’s supposed to belong to the past now could be destructive for each one of you. On the opposite side your intuition might tell you to reconsider these friendships and seek more peaceful and healthy relationships. Ultimately it’s a decision that will question your mutual commitment: do you all want to work on these relationships, or would it be better to focus on building healthier ones with someone else?

Through all of this, know that you are not alone. It may be “virtually” or with a distance, but you always have friends right here in this community. We see you. We care about you. And we understand what it is to feel alone even when we are surrounded by friends.

I hope this situation will be resolved in a way that would be healing for you. We’re in this with you. You’ll be okay, friend. You’re not alone. :hrtlegolove:

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