I’m losing the will to keep fighting all this crap going on in my head and around me. Constantly replaying the argument with my sister in my head, and its getting to me more and more. On the night of the argument, I self harmed badly enough to the point where my mum thought I was gonna need stitches. I didn’t even feel anything when I harmed. I was so numb to it.
I feel so worthless, and just… underserving of life. Only thing I feel deserving of is harming. I feel unsafe, unwanted, and undeserving. Stupid, and a waste of space. Feel like family don’t care anymore, and I’m just in the way.
The past week or so, I’ve developed a weird rash on my arms and legs. I’ve been scratching it so much it bleeds, and its just not getting time to heal. And I don’t even care. I feel like I deserve to bleed.
I’m so unhappy and just feel like I don’t belong.
Thoughts of harming and suicide have been constant. I really want to harm right now.
I’ve tried so many things to distract and draw my focus but nothing has held my focus for more than a few minutes.
I just want to feel safe and wanted again.
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I will be praying for you, including your rash. And you are wanted. Jesus made you and He loves you. The Bible says all things were created by Him and for Him. He loves you.
Stay strong friend… we need you around. You are deserving of love and care and happiness just as we all are!
Is there something that happened recently or in your past to make you feel this way?
So glad you found the bravery and strength to reach out to us today <3
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