I think I’ve come to a place where this doesn’t impact me as much, but having this conversation with my therapist was so interesting.
I was aware of being sensitive to rejection, what I didn’t also know was that neutral stimuli was also taken in my mind as negative and positive stimuli was being rejected and discounted. Negative stimuli was amplified ten fold.
It made a lot of sense why I thought for so long people hated me or didn’t want me around and why I couldn’t find any reason why people would like me.
Now neutrality doesn’t negatively affect me, and im learning to accept positive input from others.
Also little critter is nearly 10 weeks and we have been thinking about looking for apartments
I love how you are learning so much about yourself and how you were reacting to feelings and thoughts compared to how you are now doing so, you are moving on you are moving forward you are growing and its lovely to see and fascinating how our minds work.
I will never understand how its always easier to believe the negative than the positive but it always seems that way,
Speaking of the whois that I know I cannot imagine why anyone for any reason would dislike you. You are a pleasure to know.
keep doing what you are doing, keep learning and keep being you. much Love Lisa. x
It’s inspiring to hear your story of recovery from rejection sensitivity. I think its really great that you are working thru this with your therapist.
Having BPD, I see neutral faces (up to a 30% smile, research says) as negative. It’s also one of the reasons I struggle with thinking people hate me too. So, it really gives me hope that I can recover from this too.
Thank you for sharing and I’m so happy to hear that you are progressing.
@Lisalovesfeathers i feel like I owe you a ton of thanks for helping me get on this path with all the constant encouragement and just in general quality swat time. It has been really something great to be a part of that group.
I’m sure I’ve been a bit of a bastard at times, but you learn from that
The negative stuff frustratingly does seem to stick so much harder, especially when it feels like it’s repeated
@Mystrose thats seriously so hard! There are a million things the mind can put in that space. They’re probably thinking about whether they can fry a boiled egg, but you just see this almost contempt!
I’ve always been cautious around people because I had to be, but sometimes when I really sit and watch them I start to notice they are fiddling with something or staring at something and it helps to then be able to try fit that mindset that maybe they’re just in their own zone and space.
Between how someone behaves and how we interpret their behavior, there is an entire world of possibilities! Being overly sensitive/aware of my environment, any subtle change in the tone/behavior/voice/look of someone is something I would immediately interpret negatively. Needless to say how group conversations or oral presentations in front of a group have always been a nightmare.
It really takes a lot of courage to face this wound of yours with your therapist. It’s not comfortable and even less easy to admit that rejection is something we fear. And when fear drives us, our mind systematically seeks “proofs” to validate it. As you said so very well, the other effect of this process is to completely dismiss positive experiences.
I hope this work with your therapist helps you and is going to help in order to not only acknowledge when you may interpreting a stimuli as negative, but also to progressively reinforce and anchor the experiences that are, objectively, positive!
You can be proud of yourself – I know many of us are proud of you here:
PS - 10 weeks?? How does time go so fast… Wishing you all the best for the apartment search!