Okay so this is my first topic ever here and I don’t really know how it works,but what I do know is that I can’t keep it all inside me anymore…I’m so scared y’all are just going to ignore or insult me(I would too I’m so pathetic)but I have to try…so basically everything is going to shit again, I relapsed right into the conforting arms of self harm and I started drinking again, a lot. I didn’t recognise my problem until a few days ago,when I was about to take some pills from this man I didn’t know just to feel a little high. I don’t want to be an alcoholic again. That is just going to make things worse but if I don’t drink, I self harm. I can’t even stand on my feet right now I’m collapsed on one of my rugs and everything is really blurry. I had to say a lot of other things but I think I’ve been enough of a burden for today. Thank yoi for your attention
Ok, first off, you are no burden. You’re hurting, and I’m really sorry about that. I can somewhat relate to this becuse my mohter has been an addict for the past 16 years of her life (funny how thats the year i was born, right?) Anyways, the way that she’s been getting help is through religion. She says that she;s found god again, and is ready to give life a second chance. So there is something out there that makes life worth living. It may be a pain in the ass to find, but you will. And please know that people are there for you.
We are to help and will never judge or insult you. I think most if not all of us get that when we are not here it’s okay to say what you need to say. You are in pain and are struggling but just know that you are not alone. What do you think happened that caused you to relapse with self harm and drinking? I get that those demons are hard to slay on their own but know that there is help out there and that there are people that care about you. Keep hanging in there and keep fighting because you matter.
Thank you so much, I’m sorry about your mum I hope she gets better and I hope that you’re okay,too
I will try to find my thing,thank you very much
Thank you so much this means the world to me. I don’t know if there’s a specific reason this time but recently I’ve been feeling worse than usual idk why. Thank you again
No worries, just know that we are here for you 
I’m never one to give others advice because I feel like that would make me a huge hypocrite and I don’t want to come off as one. I am an addict myself and it’s brought so much hell into my life. The dependency, broken friendships, family etc, the cost, the damage to your healthy mentally and physically. I just want you to know that you are not alone and that I am currently battling drug addiction and depression myself. I’ve tried so many things to try and get myself clean and focus on what I am passionate about. The way that I see it is that we are 100% in control of this. Even though the things In our life might have a huge influence on our decisions, it’s ultimately up to us to choose how to move on from it. The fear that I have persaonly, is how far will I go through this to realize that I can’t and won’t do this to myself anymore. Essentially rock bottom. It’s a place where I am desperately longing for so I can actually stop doing this to myself. As far as self harm, I’ve never actively attempted to take myself out, but I do often wish I went to sleep one night and never woke up again. At least then everything will be gone right? I’m sorry that you’re going through this tough time in your life, but you are not alone. I am here. And I’m sorry if this seems judgemental in any way, this is my very 1st time putting my two sense in, and giving my advice if that’s how you want to take it. But one day when we have had enough, I mean truly have had enough we will wake up and do the things necessary to allow ourselves to live and lead a happy life. I hope you wake up one day. And when you do, I hope you will remember this post. I wish you the best and if you ever wanna talk I am here.
I want to start off by saying that you are not pathetic or wasting anyone’s time. Relapse is all part of recovery. Just think about how far you went before you relapsed that in it of itself Is a victory.
Do you have a support system we’re you live? I know for myself having people that love you, that won’t judge you but will keep you accountable and that you can be honest with is how iv gotten clean and helped me through relapse.
As great as the HS community is I I would also encourage you to find a tangible community.
You are so loved and have a purpose in this life. You are not defined by the moment you feel like you’ve failed. I promise you there is hope for healing right know even if you don’t see it right know.
With love
-love in Flyleaf
Ps if you need anything I would love to talk more don’t hesitate to reach out
Hey @Workingforprogress,
First off I want you to know we will NEVER insult you or hurt you- we are about love and acceptance no matter the case. We are here to listen and here to provide insight and encouragement,
You are not a burden.
I’m proud of you for posting.
There are a lot of resources available that can be of aid to you in this situation- I know it’s hard to reach out but it is a step we have to take in life. Please know you are not alone.
There is hope and there is help out there. People care. You are NOT a burden.
The struggles we go through are never the end of all things- we fight through them and forge on even when stuff gets hard- we just have to keep fighting.
You have already taken a huge step by posting here. I’m proud of you. I believe in you.
Hold fast.
With love,
Lyss (ur old pal Blurryface)
Thank you so much. You are not a hypocrite at alla. I Think you are very brave and kind and this advice is really important for me because you’re going through the same struggles as I am. Thank you . If you ever need anything I’m here for you