I relapsed on drugs 4 days ago because I had friend issues and I tried to… end it all with those drugs. I survived 3 days later with no effects but I wanted to die. My friend eventually responded back to me and things got resolved, but I was clean and sober for so long from the drugs. I don’t know what got into me
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Hey @Anonymous2020,
Thank you so much for being here. I’m very grateful that you are here with us today. What you’ve been through is heavy and it’s a relief to know that you don’t have to deal with secondary effects. Your life matters, friend. You matter. So much. 
I’m so sorry you had issues with this friend. It can be very distressing to face any kind of conflict or tension with people we love. Whenever I’ve been involved in an argument in the past, I often felt hopeless and inherently worthless. It felt like having a giant hole in my chest. Just like being swept away by a storm and you need an anchor to breathe. I’m really sorry that it made you feel so alone and thought that disappearing could be a solution. It’s hard to find some clarity during those moments, and you’ve been through an emotional rollercoaster in just a few days. So I hope you take care of yourself right now, as much as possible. You deserve healing and peace.
Regarding your sobriety, you just did a first step, and an important one, by reaching out and breaking your own isolation. I want you to know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Relapses happen, and when we’re facing an obstacle we’re even more vulnerable. But what just happened doesn’t erase your previous efforts. It doesn’t erase the strength you gathered during all this time to face your demons. You are breahting. You are alive. And there is so much strength within you.
What were your resources before, regarding your sobriety? Are you part of any support group/ do you receive any professional help? What does your support system look like right now?
What you did before - being sober - you’ll be able to do it again. Your heart will surely need some time to process and heal from what just happened. To get some rest again. But you won’t be alone through all of this. You have an entire community right here willing to encourage and support you, as much as possible. 
Hi, I just joined a Alcoholics/Drug anonymous support group moderated by my friend in HI
And I see a therapist and I see a psychiatrist for MEDs to help me out with this stuff. But I just was in a huge mess, five days ago and I didn’t think I could handle the silence from him so that’s why the relapse happened. So it just happened out of nowhere. I’ve never been to a Rehab facility before in my life so this was my first mess up. I always got into alcohol and drugs in High school and once I graduated and I got into Jr.College I messed up on getting into drugs again and my friend I’m friends with now always noticed and so I always would spiral out of control so I had to drop out of that college. And eventually I stopped with the drugs. But when my friend said that mean thing to me, I took it out of context and I had drugs that could’ve killed me and I ended up overdosing on them but it didn’t take any effect on me three days later and I got lucky. So I’ve had a crazy messed up life
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